Her Campus Logo Her Campus Logo
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at St. John's chapter.

People everywhere find love, and sometimes the unfortunate happens. In the end… they just became your ex. 

Days pass and you feel that hole in your chest. The overwhelming sadness feels like it’s engulfing you alive, all the memories tear you apart and it hurts so bad you want to cry a tsunami. 

Then you begin to think you could try to stay friends…

Hold up. 

Nope. 

Reroute sweetheart.    

Reverse. 

Back up and BREATHE.

You do NOT need them.. You entered this world independently and strong and so you should stay that way. 

Obviously, it hurts right now, but it doesn’t mean you should go back to your ex or even consider being with them. 

Being friends with an ex comes with risks. The risk to fall in love again is the biggest one. However they may not be in love with you themselves. It will hurt more when they date someone else and you’re just there, in the friendzone, secretly hoping they break up and they run back to you, When in reality you’re watching it all unfold while eating a whole tub of ice cream and crying to old photos.  

You need to come into terms with the idea they are an ex for a reason. Don’t even think about second chances. If they messed up once, chances are they’ll mess again. The trust levels fall and there is more dishonesty or disloyalty, and you overthink their every move. Ask yourself this: Do you want to deal with anxiety and overthinking 24/7? Do you want to go to sleep wondering if they truly love you? 

Someone once told me that if the heart and mind are in two different directions, one is lying. It may not make a lot of sense now to some, but for those who went through or are going through a break up they understand all too well. 

Like I said before, you are strong. You had the ability to be in a relationship, and that means taking a huge risk with your heart and allowing yourself to either find the love of your life or have your heart be broken.              

These chances are scary, but a lot of things in life are. Deciding to cut of ex altogether can be one of them. You just have to choose whether or not to take the risk. 

We all deserve happiness and good things. In the end, no one truly wants to be alone and no one deserves to be hurt. But you have yourself. Who could be better!?

Devashri Narayan

St. John's '23

A woman who wants her voice heard and changes to happen.