By: Amelia-Rose Williams
Throughout our lives as women, we learn that we have to work harder than men just to get what we want. When it comes to our academia, that overshadowing thought is even more consistent given the fact that this opportunity hasn’t always been given to us. It’s the idea that we have to be grateful that we even have this opportunity in the first place to justify the burnout we are experiencing.Â
Present day stats show that women are more dominant in colleges than men and there are more female valedictorians than men. It still feels as though we have to fight consistently for what we want. We also have to ask ourselves, why? How come more women are pursuing degrees in higher education? And why is this shift so significant given our current political climate?
Many women have taken to social media to describe their lackluster relationships with men. How men aren’t providers like they are “supposed” to be and how getting involved with a man is high risk low reward. While people who are currently in relationships may disagree, it’s important to understand perspective. We are currently at a time and an age in our lives where we are all very experimental.
While that is a good thing, it has its drawbacks, we are all looking for something different and that will fit our needs. It’s hard to find someone flexible enough to have those needs met when and how we’d like them to. Which piggybacks off an overall larger problem, which is our failure to communicate properly. In the end, leaving a lot of confusion and frustration.Â
However, because of this constant state of frustration, many women have decided it is best to focus on something that does have certainty. A career is rewarding, and by the end of it, you won’t regret that you worked as hard as you did because it’s a guarantee that you have some sort of security in your life. As women, a lot of what we do is constantly being criticized.Â
What we wear, eat or how we talk. When it comes to resting or taking time for ourselves, whether it be for having a baby, just needing a mental day or even grieving. We are always being overlooked or told that we are too emotional. It then becomes hard to justify the fact that we need a break, out of fear, we are becoming a stereotype.
I believe our emotions make us who we are. It’s okay to be emotional, feel exhausted or just need time for yourself. It’s because of things like “gossip”, debriefs and crying sessions that we can healthily adjust to our emotions. In male friendships/circles, they don’t have this, which makes it hard for them to adjust to their emotions due to the stereotype of being “weak” or the grooming they go through to make them believe that emotions are “stupid”.
We come out of the womb crying, already feeling emotions. Emotions make us human and it’s okay to need a break. Do not feel guilty about taking time for yourself or demanding it when you need it. Life is meant to be enjoyed through both the good and the bad, not spent being miserable and feeling suffocated. It’s okay to not be okay.