We hear it all the time: “It takes a village,” “we need community.” And even though it’s true, humans lived and survived in groups, and those who were isolated didn’t survive long, it’s important to note that being part of a community takes effort. It takes selflessness.
In an era where self-care is preached and marketed in a million different pastel colors (which, yes, is important), we should also notice the polarizing trend in how we interact with one another. Maybe you don’t want to show up to your friend’s job promotion dinner because work has you drained. Or maybe you don’t want to help with an errand because it’ll set you back a little. Slowly, the shift in culture has pushed us toward this thought: if it doesn’t benefit me directly, why should I?
Self-care culture, while beneficial in a society that’s constantly moving, has also nudged us into thinking more selfishly. Ask yourself: when was the last time you did something not for yourself? Not because it made you feel like a “good” person, not because it boosted your mood. But simply, because someone else needed it. When was the last time you did something without calculating how it would serve you?
And I’ll be the first to admit, I’m not perfect in this either. I’ve cancelled early morning games because I couldn’t wake up. I’ve skipped out on commitments when it felt inconvenient. But the older I get, the more I realize that community is not about convenience, it’s about consistency. It’s about showing up, even when you’re tired, even when you don’t “get” something out of it. Because in the end, being part of a village isn’t about what it gives you. It’s about what we give each other.