Being a woman in college, who happens to be one of the ones who are still with their high school sweetheart, Sex and the City has been a show that I continue to watch over and over again to find out if Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte, or Samantha’s advice stays true.
Throughout the course of the show, we see how when a Big love comes around, sometimes you just cannot shake it, and it will stay with you forever. We see Carrie fall in love with Mr. Big, but after countless breakups and hurt, he tells Carrie she is “the one”; we see Charlotte finally find love in a place she never thought, in Harry, and she could not be happier; we see Miranda, through all of her cynical and snarky comments, she finally realizes that her love for Steve is too much to bear; and we see Samantha, though her real love is sex, she has not gone past having feelings, and how though someone can have sex like a man with no feeling, your heart overcomes all. But after watching all of these girls: is there any good and functional relationship or sex life available to use or is it just a show to make women feel connected to the relatable characters?
I have watched this show countless times, probably 6 times from beginning to end, and I have come to realize that I am a Miranda: stubborn, independent, cynical, ambitious, fiery, and direct, but still caring and loving. With knowing that I am a Miranda, here are the functional pieces of relationship and sex advice from the women we all know and love:
1. Date yourself first
The woman that I embody the most, Miranda Hobbes, shows that every person needs to be able to balance “me time” and couple time. This balance is crucial since it shows that if you want a successful and amazing relationship that is stable, you need to strive for a full and satisfying life of your own first, so you can focus on your wants first, like your career, and then find someone to share it with.
2. Forget your “type”
The eternal optimist and “cheerleader for love”, Charlotte York, showed us that love may be found in the places that you least expect. Charlotte spent 20 years of her life dating the same men – dark-haired, tall, rich men – but when she found love, she knew that he was the one, even though he was the opposite of her type since he was bald, short, and hairy everywhere except his head. This shows that when love strikes your heart, it is the most difficult thing to cope with when it is lost.
3. Confidence is necessary
The lover of sex and the true “having sex like a man” lifestyle prototype, Samatha Jones, taught us that self-esteem is needed to survive in the world today. The constant judgment we have towards ourselves will make us emotionally unstable, while if we were confident, we could rule the world. Body image is such a difficult topic, especially with women, since we constantly compare ourselves to photoshopped images that could not be farther from reality.
4. Love is truly a rollercoaster, enjoy the crazy ride
My personal experience has shown me that this statement is spot on, and I can thank Carrie Bradshaw herself for allowing me to know this fact. Love truly is a rollercoaster of ups and downs and things will never be easy. We spend so much time carrying around emotional baggage, but we need to turn all of that pain, and those tears into wisdom that we can use in the future.
I hope that everyone can find something to follow and use as advice for the coming years of relationships!