Now, many could argue that I am not someone who should speak upon the “softness” of a woman. Many people, if not all people in my life, may characterize me as someone bold, outspoken, assertive, perhaps “aggressive.” I am not someone many believe to be nurturing, gentle, emotional, soft. Characteristics society has typically associated femininity as.
So to many, I may not be the “right” messenger to speak upon softness and femininity.
But hear me out.
We are expected to be emotionally resilient. Whether it is in our workplace, family, relationships or even society. According to a survey by Talker Research, out of 2,000 women, 72% admit to feeling societal and internal pressure to take on emotional labor. Many women feel undermined or dismissed for expressing their emotions, labeled as the “emotional” and “temperamental” sex. Women in America have consistently fought for decades for the opportunities we have today, yet we are still judged not only for what we do, but how we feel.
Characteristics like strength, composure and resilience are qualities anyone can possess, but women are often expected to embody them at all times, without exception. We are expected to be caretakers, emotionally available for people in our life. At the same time, we are criticized when we express very human emotions like anger, sadness or frustration. This creates a double standard where women are expected to endure silently, proving their strength by how much they remain quiet than how honestly they can express themselves.
Humans should not be reprimanded, shamed or belittled for feeling stress, fear, sadness or anger. These emotions do not make anyone weak; they make us human. In fact, the ability to recognize and express emotion is a form of strength in itself. One that requires self-awareness, courage and honesty. The expectation that women must constantly regulate their emotions to be taken seriously forces many to suppress parts of themselves. Over time, this does not create stronger individuals — it creates toxic environments where no one can comfortably express themselves truly. True strength should not be measured by silence or endurance alone, but by the freedom to exist fully, without fear of being diminished.
I’ve experienced for a long time this pressure of keeping silent about my emotional struggles. Bottling my emotions, believing it is what makes me perceive strong. I believe it is what makes many believe I’m not this “feminine” person. However, as I am growing emotionally, I have realized I am strong for embracing my emotions. I’ve felt ashamed for being such a “girl” for crying or feeling upset, but truly, it is my strength to recognize and truly feel these tough emotions. Processing emotions is strength in itself. Softness is not a weakness. Women are not weak to feel scared, sad, mad or any form of emotion. As humans, we aren’t meant to be wired to only be brave and unmoved. Knowing how to accept and embrace those emotions is a skill many try to achieve. Being sensitive was never a weakness. Society may define a woman’s emotions, our gentleness towards others, our empathy, as a weakness. But it has never been that all along. It is our greatest superpower as women, as humans. We are meant to live our lives to the fullest, including feeling every emotion. It is not society who gets to live our lives, we get to make our own choices.