By: Amelia-Rose Williams
This year, I sought to be “selfish”. I don’t like the generalized meaning of what it means to be selfish. People believe that being selfish means that you only care about yourself and lack care for others. I believe that being selfish means putting yourself first by being honest with those around you.Â
Women get criticized for being selfish all the time, whether it means putting their career first, their dreams or simply putting themselves first. We get villainized for it and we just have to live with it; however, I’ve tried taking others’ feelings into account and to be completely honest, it hasn’t gotten me quite far.
My time spent away at college has taught me to be passionate about what I believe in as well as what I want for myself. I’ve learned that it is okay to be selfish. It’s the little things, like noticing the fact that your friends will prioritize certain things over others and fail to communicate, or the fact that while dating, romantic partners won’t disclose their full intentions to keep you hooked.
These are selfish things; not communicating properly with someone is a selfish thing to do, but it’s purposeful and tactical. People put in effort when it is something they genuinely enjoy; when they don’t care, they will show it through their actions. This was a very hard lesson to learn for me, because I believed that by being a genuine person, I could change that.
I was gravely mistaken. You can’t fix someone who doesn’t want to change themselves. If I had learned this a long time ago, I would have drilled it into younger me’s brain. Many people, such as myself, have this unhinged idea that by going above and beyond, the people we surround ourselves with will automatically pay it forward.
I’m here to give you the advice I wish I had received and tell you that’s delusional. The quicker you realize the people around you don’t owe you a cent, the better. And that’s a good thing. If they treat you like garbage, their payment should mean nothing to you in return.
Now, I’m not saying be a terrible person, I’m saying invest in individuals who actually appreciate you and the one’s that don’t, do not be afraid to lose them in your life. Life is too short to exhaust yourself with energy vampires who only care about taking things from you and never paying it forward. Go where you are appreciated and don’t look back.