As someone who stayed home to be a commuter student, I understand how hard it can be to maintain close friendships when your friends head off to different colleges. At the end of the summer before college, I watched some of my closest friends pack up and move away. The thought of them no longer being just 20 minutes away was strange. I knew I’d see them during holidays and breaks, but how do you keep a connection when you’re physically apart for long periods?
One of my best friends goes to college upstate, while I stayed in Queens. Even though we’re still in the same state, the distance felt huge. I quickly realized if we wanted to keep our friendship strong, we’d have to put in some effort. Here’s what worked for us:
- Text Regularly
We made texting a daily habit. Whether it was a quick update on our day, sharing a funny memory or just checking in, texting became a simple way to stay connected. Even on busy days, we kept it short and easy, which helped us maintain the friendship despite the distance.
- Use Video Calls to Stay Connected
While texting is quick and convenient, nothing beats seeing each other’s face. FaceTime became our go-to for longer conversations. Whether it was after a busy day or a weekend catch-up, video calls allowed us to talk more naturally and feel like we were spending time together, even when miles apart.
- Make Time for In-Person Visits
One of the most important things I learned is that maintaining a long-distance friendship isn’t just about texting and calling. It’s about showing up for each other when it matters. When my friend had a volleyball tournament in Long Island, I made the effort to attend. It wasn’t just about watching the game —- it was about supporting her in person, even though we weren’t living near each other anymore. Planning visits, even if they’re infrequent, really helps maintain that sense of connection.
- Plan for the Future
Long-distance friendships work better when you have something to look forward to. For us, knowing we’d see each other gave us something to anticipate. Whether it’s planning a visit or scheduling time to catch up, having something on the calendar helps maintain the bond.
- Be Intentional About Communication
For a long-distance friendship to thrive, it’s important to be intentional with your time and communication. It’s not just about texting when it’s convenient; it’s about checking in and making sure you’re both doing well. Whether it’s celebrating milestones or supporting each other during tough times, staying engaged with each other’s lives is so important.
Long-distance friendships aren’t about the amount of time you spend together or how often you talk. They’re about the effort you put in to stay connected and show up for each other when it matters most. Distance can actually give a friendship room to grow, as it forces you to be more intentional and deliberate about how you stay involved in each other’s lives. For my best friend and I , the miles between us have made us more creative, more committed and more appreciative of the moments we share, no matter how small. Long-distance doesn’t mean less of a connection; it means you’ve built something that’s strong enough to last, no matter where life takes you.