I have been “overweight”, as dictated by the notorious BMI scale, for essentially my whole life up until a few months ago— where I underwent a quick, and (honestly) unhealthy weight loss of over 50 pounds. While I am still trying to break down and process the differences in my life and its implications, including body dysmorphia and terrible eating habits developed from my journey, there are certain changes that have been perfectly clear to me. According to society, I’m “pretty” now!
I do not mean to say I was not a “pretty girl” before— I was, and I’m sure that some people around me felt that way. However, my “beauty” was never the first thing related to my appearance that people gave unnecessary commentary on— it was always my weight. I couldn’t be treated like a “pretty girl”, because according to societal beauty standards, I wasn’t.
Even now, I don’t fit the societal beauty standards— not with my dark brown skin, somewhat wide and hooked nose, frizzy wavy hai,r and my broad build. Regardless, my weight loss caused a change in heart in the people and society around me— and I was universally accepted as at least “pretti-ER” than I was perceived before and thus, treated very differently.
There is a stark difference in the way people around me see me and interact with me now. While I have never been a person who attempts to stand out, (which I guess being overweight used to aid me with), I get noticed now. I get treated like a person— and by the men around me, I get treated like a woman. What I mean by this is, I’m now treated with a new gentleness and delicateness by the men around me— whereas prior to my weight loss, even the men I had closer relations with wouldn’t see me or treat me as a person worthy of respect. For example, they were quicker to scream, curse, and get aggressive with me, while they now speak to me in a softer voice, with a twinge of understanding in their tone. Those same people now frequently and randomly carry my belongings for me when walking, and hold the door open for me in a chivalrous manner and ask me questions about myself rather than focus conversation on them. It extends beyond simply those handful of people in my life however— I see it with how I’m perceived by strangers, acquaintances, school- and work-mates, and my friends and family. Even taking the train to work every day, I can feel the effects of pretty privilege. Strangers greet me with smiles and look at me as I walk by— but it is not the same dismissing, disgusted glares I used to feel taking the train when I was heavier.
Whether it’s the free drinks, the smiling, or the “damsel-in-distress”-chivalry I get approached with today, I guess I can’t complain as I’m now living in a kinder world. While the reality is unfortunate, I feel humbled by the various experiences I’ve had. I know that whether I’m deemed as “pretty” or not by the world around me—and thus treated with certain respects and kindnesses— I know that I’m deserving and worthy of it, as are all bodies and persons. Being exposed to certain benefits of pretty privilege now, I realize now what I deserve and have always deserved, and refuse to be treated with less respect.