My mom is my best friend.
Not in a “I don’t have any other friends” kind of way, but in the way that when it comes down to it, I will always choose my mom over everyone.
She has always been my best friend, but the way I view her has changed.
When I was little, making me eat vegetables with dinner instead of letting me eat McDonald’s every night felt unfair. I didn’t get why it mattered. Driving me to dance school, my friend’s house or the park felt like “just something mom does.” I never thought about how tired she probably was after working all day. I never thought about all the other things she could’ve been doing instead. Somewhere along the way, I started to realize just how much my mom sacrifices for me.Â
I went from wanting her to stop telling me what to do, to calling her anytime I need an opinion. I used to think she was overreacting about everything. Now I realize she just cared more than anyone else ever would. Growing up didn’t make me need her less, it made me understand her more.
There’s something amazing about growing up as a girl with a mom who actually shows you how to be one. She taught me strength without ever calling it that. She showed me what it looks like to stand your ground, to love hard, to not shrink yourself. A lot of who I am as a woman started by watching her be one.
My mom is the type of person who will drop her whole life to give you yours. And she has. She loves in a way that is deep and constant. She doesn’t give up. Even when things get hard. Even when giving up seems like the only option. Every person who truly knows my mom loves her. As a friend, a wife, a daughter, a sister, an aunt; she shows up the same way she shows up for me. She lights up every room she walks into with her sarcastic humor and her infectious laugh. Being around her feels easy. And as the years go on, I’ve realized just how special she is to everyone around her.Â
And the older I get, the more personal traits I notice that remind me of her.Â
I care a lot. I show up for the people I love. I fight for what matters to me. I feel things deeply. I dance to the radio while I drive. I make people laugh when they feel like crying. I’m empathetic and kind. I’m sarcastic, witty and smart. Those are things I used to think nothing of, but I realized they came from watching her. From being raised by someone who is unapologetically herself every day. Which, in turn, makes me want to be unapologetically myself.
Now, wherever my mom is, is where I love to be. The grocery store, church, someone’s house, her job, a car ride or even just sitting on the couch watching a show (we can’t wait for season 4 of “The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives”, by the way). I genuinely enjoy being around her and try to spend time with her whenever I can.
She has always pushed me to think for myself and make my own decisions, but she also has always made it very clear she’s there to support me no matter what. She is the most supportive person I know. When other people have made me feel small, she reminds me who I am. When I fall apart, she somehow knows how to put me back together.
My relationship with my mom didn’t change much, it just deepened. It grew up with me. If I grow up to be even half the woman she is, I’ll be proud and I hope she sees herself the way the rest of us do.
The older I get, the more I understand that having a mom like her isn’t just something I’m grateful for. It’s something I’ll never take for granted.