Male POV
When we talk about the concept of hooking up, it really leaves 1000 different ideas in the 1000 heads that are a part of the discussion. I could start by saying that over the years, the concept of hookups has changed drastically, but in all honesty, I have no clue what the idea of it was a few years or even decades ago. “A casual sexual encounter”, something we’ve all had at some point by now, and if not, it’s really not a big deal, so why is it frowned upon while simultaneously practiced? It it hypocrisy or just awkwardness?
When I am asked for a guys opinion on this concept, I can’t help but shrug my shoulders and say “whatever”, because there really is nothing else to it. It is in all its literal sense, whatever. We call hookups casual and make a deal out of it as if it’s a felony. And I mind you, when I talk about this, I mean everything consensual, especially since without consent from both parties, it would actually mean rape or assault and that’s not what I am talking about. So where does the problem lie if there is consent and absolute understanding?
Ideally when two people come together with this idea, it is usually kept private and personal and it no the two people who have a problem with it, but a third person who can’t seem to like the idea of it. (Let’s be honest, there is always that one person who knows about you and your partner.) And somewhere in the middle of talking, taking advice and just discussing this with the third person, this turns into more of a controversy than agreement and things go wrong from there. In my opinion, I find nothing wrong with the idea of it, it’s just how you handle it. Just like everything else in the world, you can be either good at managing hookups or bad, but that shouldn’t mean it’s a bad thing or a great thing to do. Don’t blame the idea, blame your ability to handle it.
Lastly, while the hookup culture receives different reactions from different people, your personal opinion shouldn’t be hindered by it. Your life, your time, your body, so the ultimate decision should be yours too.
Female POV
As a female who has been around hookup culture. I don’t see anything wrong with a seemingly careless encounter with someone who doesn’t know my birthday. The consent and comfort of both parties is the most important element. If someone feels uncomfortable then they should have the right to leave the situation.
I feel as a generation that we have accepted hook up culture and understand that it is something that comes as a natural instinct. Many of us are straying away from traditional relationship values and seeking something more immediate and temporary so we can focus on things we hold more important to us, like a career, hobby or maybe even our social life.
I’ve noticed that slut shaming culture is heightening due to social media and the amount of technology that is allowing third party opinions to join into the conversation. At the end of the day, the events that take place in someone’s sex life are completely up to them.
The only thing that I could disagree with hookup culture is when the hookup compromises someone’s present relationship or involves bitter motives strictly to sabotage someone’s life.
Hookups although frivolous and light, shouldn’t be taken without a mature mentality. When someone asks me for my female opinion that is probably more on the outlandish opinions in comparison to some of my more reserved peers I would have to state that I see nothing wrong with one night stands, party flings, or empty conversations as long as the feelings and limits are understood and the entire thing is spelt out in honesty.