For most of college, I was comfortable being invisible. I went to class, went home and repeated this routine without lingering on campus or attending events. For a long time, that rhythm felt safe, easy, even. As a commuter, I moved through college quietly. Being off campus allowed me to keep my distance from the pressure to participate and be seen. For a while, I acted like I was content with this routine, and in many ways, I was. But looking back, that comfort was also avoidance. I avoided visibility, the possibility of failure and the comparisons that come with involvement.
It wasn’t that I didn’t want to be involved. I was afraid.
By spring of my junior year, something shifted. Certain moments throughout my college life made it clear that I couldn’t remain on the sidelines any longer. I was no longer comfortable staying invisible; I wanted to do more. I started small, attending a few networking events with a friend, which eased my anxiety and showed me the events weren’t as intimidating as I imagined. Gradually, I built the confidence to attend club meetings and take on behind-the-scenes roles in organizations I had admired from afar. Even small steps were enough to convince me I wanted to keep striving for more.
By fall of my senior year, I didn’t ease into campus life, I submerged myself into it. Not only did I become a resident student, I joined three clubs, serving on the executive board for two, and threw myself into making them the best they could be. I became everywhere: attending my clubs’ meetings and events, supporting other organizations, helping friends with their projects and showing up for nearly every campus event I could. I loved it. But juggling these activities alongside fifteen credits took a mental toll I hadn’t anticipated.
Before I knew it, my schedule was chaotic. Not because of pressure or obligation, but the overwhelming awareness that I needed to make up for lost time. I started overcompensating for not having a college life.Â
As the semester went on, I realized my time was stretched thin, no longer being fully mine but shared amongst everyone, and in turn, I too was stretched thin. The pressure to keep my grades up as well as work on events and projects for both of my organizations consumed me. I began feeling a constant pressure I’ve never experienced before – a pressure to prove to myself I can handle it – coupled with an anxiety that lay just beneath the surface everyday. The stress, pressure and anxiety became so much that by mid October, I began feeling burnt out. I hadn’t been taking the time to slow down and care for myself.Â
The truth is, I felt like I needed to do it all.Â
Not only did I need to make up for lost time, I needed to accomplish as much as I could to feel on par with everyone else. I couldn’t help but observe my peers, noting how they juggled their extracurricular commitments with their academic workload, giving me a conflicting feeling of impressivement and unaccomplishment.Â
But I learned that comparison is the thief of all joy.
I learned that the path I’m walking is the right one. That my accomplishments are valid. That I don’t need to measure myself against others. But most importantly, I learned that I wasn’t behind, I was going at my own pace.
Let this be an ode to those who have the same reservations I did: it is never too late to get started. All it takes is that first step, that courage to get started and get involved. But at the same time, know your limits. It’s okay to choose balance over busyness. Overcompensation is a natural reaction when you’ve held back for too long – but it doesn’t have to define you.Â
I started noticing the difference between doing things to prove myself and doing them because they truly mattered. And I will admit, I overcommitted at times, sometimes to the point of exhaustion. So, pause when you need to. Protect your energy. Prioritize what makes you feel fulfilled, not just busy. Your pace, your priorities and your well-being are what truly matter. And if you take only one thing from this: this is your journey and yours alone, and it’s exactly the one you need to walk.