“You are just mad that I’m invited to the cookout and you’re not”. This is what was said to me when my White male friend and I were arguing about the status of my “Blackness” about 4 years ago. The cookout in question was, of course, fictional. In Black Culture, the act of inviting a non-family member, especially if that non-family member is not Black to “the cookout” , is a greatly coveted form of appreciation. This invitation to the cookout inducts the invitee into your family and, in a broader context, into Black Culture. The majority of cookouts hosted by Black families include games of spades, games of dominoes, drunk uncles, gossiping aunties, heavily seasoned food, fresh cornbread, sliceable mac n cheese (spelled exactly like that) and everyone showing up late. A good cookout is a labor of love; it’s a time for Black joy, free from racism, colorism and judgment from the outside world. Inviting an outsider in shows an immense level of trust in their social ability to appreciate and acclimate to our culture, as well as their literal ability to handle seasoned food and dance with rhythm. In recent years, specifically on social media, whenever a non-black person shows some sort of acknowledgment and appreciation for certain pillars of Black culture, they are granted an “invite to the cookout”. Essentially, this invite is saying “You’re one of us.” One can acquire an invite by knowing all the lyrics to “Dreams and Nightmares” by Meek Mill, or by seasoning their food, or by having an extremely crisp dap up, or by having an even crisper jump shot or by simply being good friends with a Black person. My problem is that the increasing frequency of invitations belittles the cultural importance of the cookout. You mean to tell me I have to share Auntie’s candied yams with someone who just happened to know the lyrics to a popular rap song? You seriously let the girl who bought her first bonnet off of TikTok shop take the last of the cornbread? You mean to tell me your homeboy knows the griddy but not the Cupid shuffle or even the electric slide? While I am grateful for the broad appreciation of Black Culture in American consciousness, this has led to the dilution of Black Cultural pillars. This dilution has warranted a lot of criticism, coming from both inside and outside the Black community. Going back to the quote that started this essay, “You are just mad that I’m invited to the cookout and you’re not”. Whoever invited you to the proverbial cookout extended that rhetorical invitation because he recognized your appreciation for black culture. Using this invitation to belittle other Black and non-Black people because of your “cultural prowess” is exactly why the concept of the Black cookout was so closed off to begin with. This Black History Month I’d like to reassess what Black History means to the Black community. Yes, “Dreams and Nightmares” by Meek Mill and the dougie might seem to be culturally relevant, but what is actually culturally significant? The cha cha slide playing as Uncle, not “Unc”, grills some ribs on the grill while his bald head glistens in the sun; your favorite cousin showing up 2 hours late with the long-awaited sangria and you and your siblings teaching your white family friend how to play dominoes. That is the Black History we should be memorializing and celebrating, the Black history that Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King Junior and Rosa Parks fought for. Black History with inclusion without dilution. Happy Black History Month to Black folks and anyone, regardless of race, who can appreciate good food and bust a move because after all, that’s what cookouts are for.
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at St. John's chapter and does not reflect the views of Her Campus.