You’re probably familiar with novels, romantic movies, and great finales. If I’m being honest I think we all want that type of romance and even though you think you don’t, deep down you do. But why is it that our generation hides those feelings of being loved and wanting to grow old? Why is it that our priorities have changed? Does it relate to each individual or is it that we’ve been harmed by the society we live in? All these questions pop into my head when I think of the ideology of “dating to marry.” As we know this is a faulty ideology and in modern times is not exactly what we are chasing. But what are we chasing for? Is it just the idea of desiring superficial needs? Similarly, It reminds me of utilitarianism and its principle of pleasure/happiness and the goal of acting to promote the greatest good (happiness) for the greatest number in society. If we relate this to how we perceive love and affection in our modern times and if we generalize this idea, it could play a factor in how our generation ultimately seeks pleasure and disdains the pain that comes from being vulnerable with someone.
Additionally, our generation in comparison to older times is highly focused on achieving success and social media “flex.” Meaning, a percentage of us tend to just want fun and take an easier path in life where jumping or manipulating the obstacles of any journey is the one option. There’s also the idea that dating is fun or for others, it can be just the issue of commitment and settling down. Why are we afraid of committing? Is it that we fear throwing away our independence and freedom? Many of us want to completely focus on ourselves and enjoy the independence that comes from our starting 20s. Moreover, the idea that “dating is experiencing” represents a portion in our society that date not to marry, but to learn about themselves and what they like and dislike.
Furthermore, do women play a factor in this ideology? Can it possibly be that women are empowered and are entirely focused on using their rights and fighting for equality in regard to their professional careers? Some of us don’t want to date to marry, but to let go and have fun with a special someone not necessarily to immediately settle down. If we think about this further and past decades where women were encouraged and sadly forced to get married due to convenience for the families, stereotypes that risen and made women think it was something necessary or mandatory, and also social status, we can infer that perhaps women even though they ultimately wanted to find love and get married they also wanted to date and experience. This can be an influential factor for feminists in today’s society to not get married yet.
Lastly, this ideology isn’t entirely over, some of us date and find our person and want to have someone to support and trust with our achievements and life experiences. We all want to settle down eventually, but the majority in our generation go through several dates and/or want to just date for the feeling of it, not because they mean to get married. As well, in today’s society, there’s empowerment for individuals who are single and who just want to travel with friends and become the best version of themselves. However, something we do have to keep in mind is that in the end we find love unexpectedly and we never truly know how it can end up because when it is real it can be so powerful and make us change our perspectives without giving up our independence or aspirations and still attaining a great finale.