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Sex + Relationships

Is Dating in College Actually Worth It?

This is a question that I have discussed with others and pondered myself many times. My Freshman year, I went into school with the attitude that I was 100% going to date in college. I set up for myself an image in my mind of having a boyfriend throughout all 4 years, graduating together, and eventually going through all of life together. Eventually, I found myself trying to juggle a large workload, keep up with my home life in a different state, and maintain very new relationships, all while appearing to keep it together on the outside and on social media. I questioned whether or not pursuing a relationship was the smartest thing to do for myself and how I would be able to do it. Eventually, I let go of the idea that I had to have a boyfriend and be in the perfect relationship in order to seem like the well-rounded college student who had her life together and could handle whatever was thrown at her effortlessly. I realized how unique these 4 years are. For maybe the only time in my life, I was able to actually focus on myself and grow into the person that I was meant to be, all while studying to pursue my dream career. Now, this is not to say that you can't spend your college years doing this in a relationship, because you can, and I know plenty of people who do. But, I’m not them. I realized I was spending so much time focused on finding the right person to fit my unrealistic picture of what my life should like. I was neglecting what my time and attention should have been focused on, and I was losing myself in the process. It took me almost a whole year to realize that I was too focused on how I looked to others to realize that I didn’t even like who I was at the moment.So, the question remains: is it worth it to date in college? My opinion? There is no right answer. If dating in college works for you, then great. If it doesn’t, then don’t sweat it, girl! The number one thing to remember is don’t force anything. What is yours will find you. This is one time in your life when you are allowed to be selfish. What other people are doing is none of your concern and vice versa. So, enjoy your college years, date, or don’t, and take advantage of these 4 years, because you’ll never get them back again.
Taylor is a Junior English major at St. John's University and the Editor-in-Chief/Vice President for 2021-2022 at Her Campus, St. John's. After college she plans on pursuing a career in the humanities and exploring the art of communication in diverse settings.
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