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St. John's | Wellness > Sex + Relationships

Collegiate Dating 101: How to Survive

Mikayla Surles Student Contributor, St. John's University
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at St. John's chapter and does not reflect the views of Her Campus.

“I’m just a girl.” You say as you enter situationship number—wait, which one was this now?   

Entering the collegiate dating scene has been easier than ever with dating apps such as Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, Duet and many more readily available. As a freshman, freshly on your own, you can be enticed by these apps to get up and meet who you think is your soulmate. That may just be your “canon event”! So, there may be no stopping you, but this article will tell you how to stay smart, stay safe and have fun.  

Stay Smart

Having friends is the most essential part of dating in college. That may seem confusing, but let me explain. Friends allow you to have a strong social network to lean back on if things with your situationship go awry. They can give you good advice, and they can help you out of a pickle! Having only a romantic interest as your social base could make you feel isolated and potentially lead to a toxic relationship with your partner, as they know they’re your only contact.  

They may not be your only interest, though, which leads me to the number of people you speak to. My general advice is: Don’t try to romance people in your friend group, it never ends well. There may be a select few that do have a good ending, but there are too many that have bad endings. Also, while it is not required that you only speak to one person at a time, try to limit the number of people you talk to, not due to your morals, but due to the amount of emotional stress you can handle. Relationships can be stressful—that is, a whole other human’s feelings you must consider! Some situationships can be taxing on your mental health, it’s important to take your own mental health into account as well. So please consider your mental, emotional and academic state of mind when entering into new situations with someone. Remember, you’re here to get that degree! 

Stay Safe

I cannot stress this enough! Stay safe and alert! As a young, beautiful, flourishing woman in college, it is easy to trust someone too easily. You may believe the person who love-bombed you on Tinder is your future life-partner, but in all actuality, they could be preying on you. It is important to stay aware of your surroundings and recognize the red flags in a person. Always share your location with your friends and family, arrange your own means of transportation, stay in a public place and never, I repeat, never go back to their place (or allow them into your space) after the first date! Stay safe out there, ladies! 

Have Fun

The most important part of dating in college! The goal is to enter fun new adventures with someone who could be your future partner. New York City is full of new date-night spots for young adults, and not everything has to involve drinking. With the fall and winter seasons coming up, new places will pop up every week! Go walk through the park, roller skating or grab a bite to eat and make some pottery! There is so much to do in the city, learn about your partner and go out and have fun.  

Good luck throughout college, date smart and have fun.  

Mikayla Surles is a graduate student at Saint John's University (N.Y) pursuing a Master's of Arts in Museum Administration. She also has a B.A. in Liberal Arts from Kean University and an A.S. in General Studies from Atlantic Cape Community College. As she is from South Jersey, living in New York City has been a big change for her! Exploring New York City is her top hobby for her first year of graduate school.

She has also made it her priority to get involved on campus. She is currently a manager for the St. John’s University Track & Field team. She has always loved sports–she was a collegiate athlete herself for one year! She also works at the Dr. M. T. Geoffrey Yeh Art Gallery as a Gallery Associate. It is always in need of more visitors, so she loves to advertise the gallery when she can! With a passion for the arts and sports, she hopes to indulge in all New York City has to offer in both those cultural realms.