I’m a stickler for plans. I like to know exactly what I’m doing, when I’m going to do it, and if something gets in the way, I fall off the rails. Before the world seemingly fell apart in March 2020, I had the next twelve months of my life planned out and meticulously crafted, all so I would feel comfortable in what to expect. The pandemic has definitely softened the “planner” inside me to a certain extent. A few months into the year, part of me gave up. I wondered: what’s the point in trying to “plan” my year? Does it make sense to create resolutions if life can completely change instantaneously? Should I keep trying to “get my life together” even if I consistently get knocked off my feet? Despite the lights that are finally (softly) glowing at the end of the tunnel, this year will still be frustrating for many. Resolutions this New Year may look different, which is perfectly ok. It was a deeply unsettling, mournful, life-altering year in which the traditional resolutions many of us set in previous years will not be applicable for the time being. Here are a few suggestions as to how to go about setting them this time around, and what to keep in mind while doing so:
- Think Broadly
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Perhaps making broad plans, ones that will not fall apart if you do not adhere to them consistently, is the way to go for 2021. Instead of promising yourself you’ll write one thousand words a night for your book, aim to have half a draft finished by the end of the year. Instead of trying to get all firsts in your modules this semester, strive to simply work your hardest and to the best of your ability, always taking into consideration the current circumstances. Thinking of your goals and resolutions in broader terms will help them appear manageable and without consequences if they won’t be adhered to consistently.
- Take Your Time
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Patience is key this year. If you find yourself not upholding the resolutions you made for yourself, it’s ok. If you cross one of them off your list completely and replace it with something less daunting, it’s ok. Be patient, take your time, and forgive yourself. If, in order to take care of yourself, you need to delay creating your resolutions, or forgo them completely, it’s ok. Your resolutions are meant for only you, and no one else. Nobody will judge you.
- Be Kind with Yourself
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Resolutions are not met overnight. They encounter tears, sweat, and struggles along the way. Although these hurdles are pathways to success, they are nonetheless difficult to confront when one stumbles upon them. Always remember to be kind with yourself. If you slip up, instead of getting frustrated, take a deep breath, and try again the next day, and then the next, and so on and so forth. Keep trying. One mistake or slip-up will not define you.
- Remember the Stage of Life You’re In
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Perhaps the resolutions you made last year still apply to where you are in life right now. Don’t think of it as recycling old resolutions, but rather continuing the promises you already made to yourself. Not every year will be vastly different to the last. Personally, many of the goals I set out for myself last year can be applied now, and much has remained unchanged. If this is the case for you, don’t feel pressure to make resolutions just for the sake of making them. Strive to apply them to your life with meaning and intent. If you are not in the position to make any – it’s ok. If you want to make some but are unsure of where to start – it’s ok. Be mindful of the stage of life you are in, taking into account the change you want to see for yourself.
All in all, this year will undoubtedly be yet another bizarre dream (or nightmare). Plans will likely remain on the backburner, and the “new year new me” concept may seem inconceivable for the near future. If you’re thinking of making resolutions, have already made them, or are unsure if you want to make them at all – remember that they are for your eyes only. Form a healthy relationship with them (one in which you put yourself first) and do what you feel works for you.