Sleepovers used to be the pinnacle of freedom, friendship, and fun – so why have we stopped having them?
Not to brag, but I was somewhat of a sleepover champion in middle school. It felt like every Friday, for weeks on end, I’d have plans to spend the night at a friend’s house or invite them over to mine. By the time I was around 12 years old, I had those 36 hours from Thursday night to Saturday morning down to a science.
The Perfect Sleepover
It started with the preparation and anticipation. First, deciding which pajamas to pack on Thursday night, and falling asleep to dreams of what movies you would watch. Then, seeing your friend in school on Friday, sneaking glances and giggles about the special plans you two would share. Finally, finding each other at dismissal and kicking off the weekend arm-in-arm.
At this point, the anticipation was transitioning into action – the countdown had ended, and the sleepover had officially begun.
What followed this was a time of endless possibilities. You could run around outside, do an art project, get a snack, pester any siblings or pets present; there were no bad options.
Then, when you were tired and hungry from your chosen mode of merriment, it was time for dinner, one of the only parts of the sleepover that could include significant interaction with grown-ups. But, it was a filling and fulfilling part of the evening nonetheless, usually including at least one funny quip or quibble that rendered you unable to meet your friend’s eyes for fear of erupting into laughter over your entree.
After this, the sweet, sweet taste of freedom returned – or maybe that was just the cookie dough you definitely were not eating as you baked your dessert. Stuffed with sweets, it was time to put on pajamas – bonus points if you and your friend match – grab sheet masks and nail polish, and settle in to watch a movie.
Whether you opted for a classic chick flick, raunchy rom-com, or exciting new release, the movie provided the perfect setting for winding down and bonding over the swoon-worthy and cringe-worthy characters.
The movie would often segue into arguably the best part of a sleepover: the pre-sleep conversations. When the lights were off and you were snuggled up in your bed, you and your friend could talk about anything. Crushes, friendship drama, fears, dreams – anything was fair game. This moment of soft, sleepy connection was the perfect ending to the night.
The following morning was usually pretty wholesome, having breakfast while talking about any of the myriad topics of conversation from the night before, and getting ready to part ways for the rest of the weekend.
I remember always feeling such a sense of easy contentment after a sleepover, equally delighted to now spend some time alone or with other people as I had been while on the sleepover itself.
The sleepover was a perfect way to spend quality time with friends. It was a highlight of my middle and high school experience. And, somehow, I seem to have forgotten that magic in favour of pub nights and coffee dates.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I love a good catch up over a matcha at Spoiled, or a night of drinking and dancing out on the town. However, I don’t think I’ve been appreciating the benefits that adding sleepovers into this rotation of evening activities could bring.
Obviously, a sleepover at university will probably look a bit different from the ones you had a decade ago. Here are some ways to update and elevate the components of a middle school sleepover to suit university life:
The Attire
One of the best parts about sleepovers, in my opinion, is the intimate setting. Although it’s great fun to dress up with your friend in your cutest matching pajamas, it’s also great to wear the incredibly soft, if a bit stained and fraying, t-shirt and flannel pants you’ve had forever.
Unlike getting a drink at a cafe or pub, a sleepover happens in the comfort of someone’s flat, so it takes the pressure off trying to look good. That’s not to say that the fun of getting ready is lost – check out these adorable sustainable, pure cotton pajama sets – rather, that the freedom to wear whatever you want is gained.
The Activities
Now that we’re in college, some of the activities to do at sleepovers may have matured with us. Their premises can stay the same – arts and crafts, or a physical activity – but you may swap paint-by-numbers for painting festive candles, or a game of tag for some relaxing yoga.
The face masks and nail painting are timeless, but instead of buying sheet masks from Boots, you could try making your own face mask with ingredients from your kitchen.
The Food and Bevs
This aspect of the sleepover can also change in relation to our age. Perhaps that means swapping your Diet Coke for an easy yet elegant 3-ingredient cocktail, or perhaps you’re a Diet Coke girl through and through and would never dream of giving it up – both of these are such fair choices.
For a more elevated take on food, consider the ‘girl dinner’ staple of a charcuterie board in all of its glorious multifunctionality. From savoury to sweet and everything in between, you can satiate all of your hunger- and Pinterest-driven dreams with these deliciously designed boards.
The Movies
Now here is where you might stick relatively close to your roots. While you could branch out and go for something with more horror or action, a good old-fashioned rom-com will rarely lead you astray. Something about the cheesy, predictable nature of these movies is absolute perfection.
They are especially great when you watch them with people who happily indulge in the silly fantasies with you – or who have had enough of whatever 3-ingredient cocktail you’ve whipped up to happily indulge, whether they really mean to or not.
The Conversations
Arguably the most important part of the sleepover, these conversations can be as similar or as different to the ones you may have had a decade ago as you please. Somehow, I think they are a mix of both, and that makes them all the more wonderful.
While of course you probably have loads of deep and meaningful chats with your friends every day, these special sleepover sessions, under the comfortable cover of darkness and tired delirium, have that little extra something.
Maybe it’s the tacit agreement that whatever is spoken of in this time and place gets to stay there, frozen and untouchable, blanketing your words in safety and freedom. Maybe it’s the understated intimacy of a friend’s voice, soft and sleepy, being the last thing you hear before you drift off. Maybe it’s just a part of the magic of the sleepover, unexplainable unless you experience it.
Maybe you’ll just have to have your own sleepover to find out :)