Picture this: you’re at a party, but the vibe is off; the music’s too loud, the drinks are flat, and you can’t find your friends. You look around, realize you’re not even having fun anymore, and think, Why am I still here? You’re over it, and you know it. The obvious move? Leave. You’re not going to stick around and solely try to save the party just because you’re already there.
And guess what? The same logic applies to so much more in life. Relationships, jobs, hobbies—you name it. If it’s not serving you, not bringing you joy, or just no longer fun, it’s okay to leave. Seriously. It’s time to go.
Sometimes, I get stuck in situations simply because I’ve already invested so much time. Whether it’s a relationship, a job, or a decision I thought was right at the time, I hesitate to walk away. The anxiety and fear creeps in: What will people think? What if I’m seen as a failure or a quitter? And before I know it, I stay longer than I should, clinging to something that no longer serves me. This is so common that there’s a term for this—sunk-cost fallacy- effectively keeping us stuck. It’s the idea that because you’ve already invested so much into something, be it time, resources, emotional energy, etc., you should keep going, even when it’s clear it’s no longer serving you.
Everything I Know About Love by Dolly Alderton, a book I recommend everyone should read, perfectly captures this. Alderton writes, “If you think you want to break up with someone, but practical matters are getting in the way, this is the test: imagine you could go into a room and press a big red button that would end your relationship with no fuss. No break-up conversations, no tears, no picking up your things from his house. Would you do it? If the answer is yes, you have to break up with them.” That simple question cuts through all the excuses we make to stay. If you know that something isn’t right, that little red button might be the push you need to leave it behind. Life’s too short to hold onto what’s not serving you, no matter how hard it is to let go.
I mean, think about it. When you’re at a party that’s gone from meh to I’ve just given my 10th forced smile, you don’t stick around for the “afterparty” because you’re already there. Nope. You throw on your jacket, grab your purse, and peace out. No shame. You’re just not vibing any more. So why do we stay in relationships, jobs, or situations just as dead as that party you regret? Let’s be honest—life is already hard enough. There’s no prize for toughing it out and making it even harder by staying in situations that are not serving you.
I have found I do this because I often feel like I’m running out of time, like there’s some clock ticking in my head that I’m constantly behind on, all because of this plan and timeline I invented for my life in my head. I’ve stayed in jobs, relationships, and situations just because I thought I had to—because I’d already invested time or effort and was scared that if I left now, I would be ‘behind’ in life. Whether it’s leaving a job that’s consuming your life, a relationship that’s no longer fulfilling, or a hobby that’s become more of a burden than a passion, I’ve learned that stepping away isn’t permanently quitting – it’s making space for what’s meant for me.
Life isn’t always easy—there are challenging moments, rough patches, and things worth fighting for. I’m not saying bolt the second things get slightly inconvenient. Use your best judgment—you know yourself and your life best. I am saying that the next time you find yourself stuck in a job that makes you feel like a walking zombie or a relationship filled with more doubt than trust, ask yourself: Why am I still here? You’re allowed to leave. You’re allowed to want more or just different. You’re allowed to outgrow what no longer brings you joy. And guess what? Life will still go on. You’ll still have fun. You’ll still find your next big thing—a new job, love, or a new sense of freedom.
So go ahead, leave that party.