I turned 20 this past January. As I received my much-appreciated rotation of birthday wishes, my friends and family asked the usual “How do you feel now that you’re (insert literally any age)?” I usually feel no different than I did the day before. Aging is a gradient; in the same way your hair grows, you don’t notice age overnight. But for some reason when people asked me this year, I felt much more compelled to reflect on how I really felt, on if I actually did feel any different.
As we approach age 20, we encounter a series of anticipated milestones that unveil our novitiate status in the world: the inaugural days of elementary, middle, and high school, followed by the commencement of university. We ascend the hierarchical rungs of experience throughout these phases, each step marking a progression toward maturity. Yet, upon reaching the summit of one ladder, we catch a glimpse of the commencement of another, initiating a perpetual cycle of adaptation and growth.
In the twilight of our teenage years, we are near the zenith of our high school journey, with the prospect of university looming. Upon reaching the milestone of 20, we find ourselves midway through the ascent of the university ladder, yet somehow we’re simultaneously learning to climb the labyrinthine tree that is adult life.
So, how do I feel? I feel younger than I was at 19. There is so much expected from me, but so little at the same time. Despite maintaining longstanding expectations of a late teenager, they’ve become so ingrained in my life that they feel almost insubstantial. It’s as if I’ve been preparing to enter this new decade since I entered the past one, finding both comfort and challenge in their familiarity. As I navigate the path to adulthood, I’m reminded of the delicate balance between the known and the unknown, drawing strength from the anticipation and preparation of years past.
At 19, we stand at the precipice of adulthood, still tethered to the teenage years yet poised on the cusp of independence. It’s an age marked by the dichotomy of being the oldest among teenagers while still navigating the uncharted waters of early adulthood. With college years beckoning, there’s a palpable sense of excitement and anticipation, coupled with the realization of the myriad responsibilities that lie ahead.
Entering early adulthood offers opportunities for self-discovery and exploration, embracing youthfulness with lowered expectations and a carefree attitude. It’s liberating to embrace this newfound sense of youth, allowing for mistakes, learning, and growth without fear of judgment.
In the journey from 19 to 20, we find ourselves caught in a time warp, transitioning from the familiarity of adolescence to the uncharted territory of adulthood. Embracing the ‘freshman year’ of this new decade offers a unique opportunity to appreciate possibility and the journey we will embark upon. As I’ve reflected on the past two decades of my life, I feel like I know so much and absolutely nothing at the same time. But, that’s the glory of this ladder system our lives seem to work in: with every fresh start comes the opportunity to explore life with some sense of a blank slate. I’m excited to embrace this next chapter of my life with open arms and see where it takes me.