Tales from a Workplace Drama

When I started working at a daycare for the summer, I was expecting to have to calm down and reason with the kids after their arguments. I was prepared to help them work through their feelings and become more understanding of others from a young age. I was not prepared to be forcibly involved in a workplace drama between the teachers which rivaled, and perchance surpassed, all of the arguments we were meant to break up between the kids.

I learned on my very first day the power of the gossip mill – one piece of drama offered in one corner of the school would make it to the other side in a matter of hours, if not minutes. Honestly, it was impressive in its speed of travel. My first week, I was already being told all the drama going on with all of the teachers, dating back several months.

But then, I found the general gossip coming to revolve around a designated focal point. Soon, every gossip-based conversation came to one question – should the moms working at the daycare be able to hug their children at work? 

On the one hand, there’s the argument that the moms can do whatever they want with their own children. On the other hand, there’s the argument that it is disruptive to the class and we are here to be teachers, not to mother our children.

As I was extremely new to this job, I was trying to keep my head down and go about my business – but of course, the drama came to revolve around my class specifically – because one of the moms in question had her child in my class.

My daily struggle was trying to bring my class of eight four-year-olds outside to the playground each morning by myself. Thankfully, the other, more experienced teachers took pity on me and would help me bring the class outside to the playground and back in the morning. Still, it was painful (both literally and figuratively), as one of the children would always attempt to revolt against going back inside. Quickly, this became one of the most stressful times of the day. It was at this precise time that we would pass the child’s mom – who would, without fail, call her child over for a hug every day, creating further difficulty in herding the children inside. 

One of the other teachers helping out with my class decided to mention this to the mom, and the Cold War of the Daycare ensued. Tensions brewed for weeks. Every teacher seemed to be taking a side, gossiping behind closed doors. Conversations were paused harshly when a new character entered the room. Everyone was waiting for the day when things would finally come to blows.

That day finally came. The mom came in – supposedly to pick up her kid for the day. She began threatening to withdraw her child from the school and to bring in her husband to speak to our boss. The other teachers tried to diffuse the conversation, but to no avail. This whole situation ended in disaster. The mom went to the owner of the daycare, and got the key opposing teacher brought in to talk as well. The key affirmative teacher quit her job, leading to countless awkward pick ups of her kid who remained in the daycare. Shortly after, the key opposition mom left her job too. 

Through all of this, there was so much room for compromise, yet the situation spiraled out of control so fast, with adults acting as immature as schoolchildren. Still, the kids always manage to make up, and one of our main jobs as teachers is to facilitate this forgiveness. Perhaps, we can take inspiration from the advice we give the children to maintain relationships at work. 

hear both sides

Talk directly to each other and actually hear each other out. I think half of the drama at the daycare could have been completely avoided if the teachers arguing had actually spoken about their issues directly to each other instead of voicing them to literally everyone else. Things can get misconstrued so easily when the conversation is not occurring face-to-face. 

Admit when you’re wrong 

I know this can be a very hard step, but it’s a necessary one. If you want to keep your job, and your sanity, admitting fault is sometimes necessary. Even if the situation isn’t your fault, taking accountability for your part in whatever the drama was can help make everyone more comfortable and capable of moving on. 

Forgive and forget

Kids have the memory of a goldfish sometimes, and honestly that can be really helpful. Moving on after an argument can be the best way to keep everything copasetic in the workplace. You don’t need to be friends with everyone at work, but being friendly and forgiving can go a long way.

But if you can, the best thing to do is to just avoid the conflict in the first place. By fostering open communication from the start and staying away from gossip, it becomes so much easier to avoid drama – because there is nothing to misconstrue or exaggerate. After all, that’s why we always teach kids to talk to each other when they have an issue. We teach kids from a young age how to act so that they can carry those lessons into the future. So maybe, as you enter your career, and all the adulting that comes with it, remember to look at the past and all the childhood lessons you can take with you.

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