Pictured above (L-R): HC Chapter President Lily Andrews, Adamson owner Julie Dalton, Dame Sally Mapstone, and HC Chapter Editor-in-Chief Adele Spitz.
On Friday, the 13th of March, Her Campus St Andrews had the privilege of welcoming Professor Dame Sally Mapstone, Principal and Vice-Chancellor of the University of St Andrews, to our Her Campus Breakfast Club at the Adamson, hosted by owner and phenomenal businesswoman Julie Dalton.
Paired with iced coffees and delicious avocado toasts, it was a morning of community and sisterhood, and an inspirational talk from our principal that moved many of us, myself included. Not previously knowing much about Professor Dame Sally Mapstone or her story, I found myself connecting to her experience of navigating male-dominated spaces, ambition, and standing up for yourself; most of all, I was struck by the value in guidance from other women- a sentiment at the heart of Her Campus and our community of women supporting one another. Here are three pieces of advice I took from the Breakfast Club with Dame Sally, and I hope these inspire you as much as they did for me.
1. Sit at the Table
Referencing Sheryl Sandberg’s 2013 book ‘Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead’, Dame Sally shared a story of how she has had to fight for a ‘seat at the table’ throughout her career, particularly in male-dominated spaces. Arriving at a large conference, Dame Sally noted the table was largely taken up by men, with only a few other women present; she was dismissed to a series of seats at the back of the room rather than being offered a seat at the table. Loud enough that the conference members would hear, Dame Sally declared, ‘I would like to sit at the table’. Rather than letting this intimidate her, Dame Sally approached the situation with confidence in what she brings to the table and shared her ideas with the conference.
What struck me was how she noted the women around the table nodding, as if they understood both the Sheryl Sandberg reference and the experience of being pushed aside, of being made to feel as though what you have to say isn’t important. Dame Sally has found support networks of women throughout her life. For example, during her time at Oxford, she sought female friendships in a heavily male-dominated academic environment; likewise, upon her appointment as Principal of St Andrews, she found support from Julie Dalton and from the three other female Principals of universities across Scotland. From these stories of female friendships and a shared understanding of what it’s like to be a woman in male-dominated spaces, Dame Sally’s experience reflects the importance of sisterhood in moments of isolation. Replacing the voices of the people telling you that you don’t belong with those who will uplift and support you is crucial to achieving your goals, and I, too, have found female friendships to be the antidote to barriers of exclusion and self-doubt.
Dame Sally’s story deeply resonated with me and my experience of applying to St Andrews. Having dealt with anxiety around exams and feeling the pressure familiar to many of us experiencing imposter syndrome, I struggled to deal with the expectation of applying to such an academically rigorous institution. My high school offered me little support with my application and advised me that I didn’t have what it takes to get into universities like Oxford or St Andrews. Making the choice to apply anyway taught me perhaps the most important lesson of my life thus far: if you want to sit at the table, you have to face the challenge and trust in your ability, regardless of any voices telling you otherwise.
Throughout high school, my female friendships were instrumental in helping me recognise this. One thing I have noticed about female friendships is how uplifting they can be, and this is perhaps my favourite part of being a member of the HC community, which is defined by the values of women supporting women. This support isn’t just for breakups or fashion advice (although these too are important!) but can have a far greater impact upon your self-belief, particularly in a world where you will inevitably face people who will doubt whether you have what it takes. Dame Sally also mentioned how proud she is of the mentoring scheme we have here at the university, which she argued isn’t about someone superior ‘instructing’ you, but rather a crucial form of encouragement that pushes you to be the best version of yourself.
2. If You Fail to Plan, You Plan to Fail
As principal of one of the most prestigious and highest-ranked universities in the country, Dame Sally has a significant amount of responsibility as the ‘final call’ on many salient issues. She shared her chief advice for handling the pressure and achieving your goals: make a plan. The aim of making a plan isn’t to check off every single bullet point, but to map out the steps you need to take to get to where you want to be. From essays to thinking about where you see yourself in five years, I have found plans to be central to visualising the outcomes I want to achieve. Particularly if your goal is an ambitious one- maybe you want to work in the White House, or to be the next Editor in Chief of Vogue- taking the time to plan out the precise steps you need to take can help transform these big dreams into actionable tasks that feel more attainable.
One of our HC girls asked Dame Sally, “What advice would you give to those of us who have big dreams and passions yet don’t know exactly what we want to do with our lives?” Dame Sally’s response was simply to experiment. Failure can hamper confidence, yet a readiness to try new things with an open mind and to learn to let go of the fear of ‘what if it doesn’t work out?’ can be the very thing that leads you to where you need to be. For many of us, knowing what we want to do with our lives isn’t just something that will happen to us; it’s something we have to seek out and discover for ourselves. At university, we are constantly pushed to think about the future, and from your friends’ decorated LinkedIn profiles to the looming rush for internships, it can be scary not knowing which direction you want to take after graduation when it seems like everybody else has it all figured out. Yet I think Dame Sally’s advice on experimentation can help reframe this uncertainty as an opportunity to learn more about ourselves and our passions, and this ‘not knowing’ can actually be a valuable gift.
3. Boundaries vs Politeness
As women, we’re taught to be accepting and accommodating to others; particularly for those of us people-pleasers, knowing when and how to be firm with your boundaries- whether it’s with your roommate, colleague, or your boss- can be difficult. Being ambitious and self-preserving sometimes requires saying no and standing up for yourself when you need to make your voice heard, and I have struggled- as I’m sure many of you will have too- with knowing how best to establish these boundaries in personal and professional environments.
Dame Sally shared the story of how a colleague misnamed her ‘Sally Mapstart’, which understandably made her uncomfortable as she believed he had fused her name with ‘upstart’. She chose to approach the situation through humour, correcting her colleague by letting him know he got her name wrong whilst making a joke about the name’s similarity to ‘upstart’. I thought this was an interesting take on standing up for yourself, using humour to diffuse the situation, which I hadn’t thought of before. This way, you can affirm your boundaries whilst avoiding conflict and simultaneously making others aware of the situation. Don’t be afraid to be stern when you need to be, Dame Sally affirmed, but using humour can be an effective tool for those of us who tend to avoid standing up for ourselves out of a fear of making others uncomfortable.
From personal experience, standing up to somebody close to me who wasn’t treating me right was one of the most difficult things I have had to do, and it can be scary to call someone out. Yet doing so has made me feel more secure in who I am and what I value, and I believe that, by advocating for yourself, your energy shifts and reflects to others how you deserve to be treated.
Learning from the experiences, ideas, and beliefs of other women can be a formative part of self-development, and Dame Sally’s words really prompted me to recognise the value in self-belief, support, and the power of community. We are so grateful to Professor Dame Sally Mapstone for taking the time to speak to us, and I hope this article inspires you to ask for your own seat at the table.