Picture this: It’s your second year of uni and you’re FINALLY moving into a flat with your friends. Your mind can’t help but wander to the many fun dinner parties, pregames, and movie nights you want to host with your flatmates… but what about the moments in-between? Navigating a friend-flatmate balance can be difficult, especially when dealing with the tough conversations that pop up at only the most awkward and uncomfortable of times. Here are some tips and tricks, as a veteran and current flatmate with five of her best friends.
One of the most difficult discussions with flatmates is the whole fridge and food fiasco. Most of the time, fridges lack ideal space for groceries of six flatmates, meaning a conversation beforehand is crucial. I was fortunate that my flatmates decided the best option was to order and share groceries. Many people do, however, find this to be an impossible task, it’s rare to find people who eat exactly like you and are willing to share grocery prices. While you may not want to share groceries, bulk ordering them for delivery from nearby grocery stores (e.g. Morrisons, Aldi and M&S) and splitting the cost is an easy solution. My flatmates and I have found that Tricount, an app that allows you to select different amounts and divides among a group, has allowed us to seamlessly split the grocery order. Trust me, it’s easier to have groceries delivered for an additional £3 than to run to Tesco everyday (although we somehow end up doing that too). Designating a shelf to each flatmate is another great option to divide the fridge, especially useful when you have bought the same item.
Another big discussion to address early is going out. Uni is the time to go out to pubs and spend late nights with friends, but it’s not for everyone. Perhaps you’re the flatmate who prefers a cozy movie night-in (I find myself favoring these nights sometimes too), but your flatmates want to host a pregame before they go out. While it may not be ideal, talking about this is the first step, and learning to respect each other’s boundaries is the foundation for the friend-flatmate relationship. Sometimes you’ll have to sacrifice your silence for the echoing pregame music from downstairs as you watch a movie, and vice versa. Conversations are a key element to maintaining the flatmate balance, and if you find the music becomes too loud, talking to your flatmate can be the best resolution. Try to avoid a passive aggressive text to the groupchat, it’ll only make things awkward and tense.
I’ve found the most flatmate tension has arisen when I decided not to speak up about my feelings, so take this as your sign to always politely say what’s on your mind. Learning to live with others is a huge adjustment for everyone, and living with your friends can pose an extra challenge. Reminding yourself that flatmates are your friends first is crucial, because sometimes the stress of living with other people will creep upon you over time. Try to talk through whatever you can and having the conversations before can save you in the future! Making decisions with flatmates doesn’t have to be full of drama, just keep an open mind. We all want to feel comfortable in our space.
These are just some of the little things to remember in the overall amazing experience it is to live with your best friends. Here’s to a fun and seamless year of flat living!