Desert Runway Disasters: Coachella’s most eye-watering fashion statements rated and roasted
Welcome to the “Coachella-desert runway:” temperatures soar, the beats drop, and the outfits defy explanation, logic and sometimes even gravity.
As weekend one of Coachella 2025 wraps up, I have decided to take a magnifying glass and perhaps set aside my feelings of jealousy to check out some of the most unhinged looks that strutted the sandy grounds of Coachella Valley this past weekend. From fringe overload, mesh mishaps, and all the belted skirts, I will be rating (and roasting) the festival’s downright most bizarre fashion statements.
A lot of thought was put into what kind of rating system I could use to critique these outfits. Stars seemed a bit boring, and cowboy hats a little bit too generic, so I decided to, instead, use something completely unexpected: a rating system of margaritas. The logic follows: if I was attending Coachella the drink I would want in my hand at all times would be a margarita. Therefore, if an outfit is awarded five margaritas, it is (according to me) breath-takingly stunning. However, if an outfit is rated one, there is certainly room for improvement.
Starting strong with the internet’s favorite party girl, Alix Earle. For day three of Coachella, she declared her look “comfy and cute”—and hey, who am I to argue with someone that confident? Dressed in a vintage Dolce & Gabbana cheetah top, pink mesh bloomer shorts, and a matching cheetah thong, the whole ensemble screamed “wild, but make it curated.” But let’s be real—the true scene-stealer? Those brown, fluffy boots. Equal parts après-ski and heat stroke hallucination, they gave “mountain lodge meets music festival” in a way I did not have on my bingo card. Self-proclaimed chaos coordinator? Consider the mission not only accomplished, but possibly overachieved. That’s why Miss Earle is earning three margaritas from me: it could’ve been worse, it’s always been worse, and honestly? The worst was definitely out there strutting past Ms. Earle at Coachella.
Next up: James Charles, Coachella’s resident fashion daredevil. If there’s one thing James will do, it’s commit to a look— whether it’s questionable or not. Who could forget the iconic (and slightly blinding) moment in 2018 when he bared it all and gave us a full moon in the desert? Those tan lines definitely told their own story. This year, though, James took a more… grounded approach. Dressed in a damp-looking grey crop top, dark denim cargo pants, and a pearly handbag to match his signature pearl makeup, the vibe was noticeably more low-key. And while the outfit wasn’t tragic, it did feel a bit underwhelming. More “Monday night at Aikmans” than “main stage at Coachella.” A safe choice from someone known for taking fashion risks—and honestly, I kind of missed the chaos. That is why, Mr James Charles is going to be a little bit dehydrated this year with only two margaritas … there’s always a chance for a redemption arc.
Now here’s a plot twist I didn’t see coming- Emma Roberts at Coachella. The Scream Queens star, known for her red carpet elegance and fashion pedigree, surprised me by showing face in the desert. But instead of going full festival glam, she looked more ready for a quick oat milk latte run after a long day at the office. Sporting a white sleeveless blouse with lace trim and buttons, a basic black skirt, and under-the-knee black boots, Emma’s vibes were “corporate casual meets vintage Etsy”—not quite the Coachella energy we look for. It wasn’t bad, per se… it was just kind of ‘there.’ For someone who certainly has the means to dress well, she could have tried a little more. Honestly, I’m starting to wonder: has Coachella lost its fashion spark? Where did all the wild, wonderful chaos go? Roberts’ gets two margaritas- I would wear her look to the library, not to see Lady Gaga slay the stage.
If you were wondering where all the wild and wonderful chaos had gone, look no further than Katie Fang. A first-time Coachella attendee, Katie made sure no one missed her arrival—especially TikTok, which was collectively shook by her day one look (myself included). I scrolled past it and actually did a double take, thus motivating me to write this article. She stepped out in a black cowboy hat, a sparkly gold bandeau top, and what can only be described as a miniscule grey mushroom skirt. The ensemble was finished off with felt ankle boots, and, a very subtle wildcard, a stark white sock peeking out, giving off unexpected Michael Jackson energy. Was it memorable? Absolutely. Fashion-forward? I’d go with fashion backwards. “Why?”, you may ask. To put it simply, it was ugly. Cheap and uncoordinated, with a skirt that looked like it was cut from a rubbish bag. But if the goal was to stir conversation, the mission was very much accomplished. Fang will unfortunately have to become a teetotaler, as I am awarding her zero margaritas.
But let me take a break from my fashion-fueled rants—because not everyone missed the mark. British podcaster and rising style star, Cinzia Baylis Zullo, absolutely stunned in the desert. Draped in a fiery orange cut-out gown, she served elegance with a side of yeehaw, perfectly accessorized with bold blue statement jewelry, and just the right amount of western flair via brown cowboy boots and a matching hat. It was vibrant, eye-catching, and effortlessly cool—the kind of outfit that actually gets the assignment. My jaw? On the floor. My rating? A full five margaritas and unlimited refills for Miss Zullo. She understood the Coachella vibe and still made it fashionable. Cheers to that.
And there you have it—Coachella 2025, where the fashion ranged from questionable, forgettable, and everything in between. This desert runway always gives us something to talk about. Fashion may be subjective, but margaritas? They never lie. Until next year, Coachella- your headlines may be expected, but your outfits never are.