I used to be anti-long-distance, but I think everyone should be in a long-distance relationship at least once. For one, it builds character development. The other reason is that it’s a sort of testament to the strength of any relationship–not necessarily just a romantic one.
Almost every friendship in my life has evolved from a daily, in-person relationship to a long-distance one and, in some cases,– to a yearly birthday text to not speaking at all. There’s a misconception that long-distance never works, yet many people don’t realize it only works if you want it to. My best friend (from my first day of high school) and I keep in touch regularly–updating each other on our new independent college lives with names we can’t recognize and experiences that seem foreign. Over the years, if I’ve learned anything about long-distance (romantic or not), it’s that the moment you physically separate yourself from a person, true intentions surface, as well as your own. To some extent, that distance is vital in understanding how much effort two people are willing to put into a relationship. Nevertheless, why can’t these long-distance friendships be as exciting as romantic ones?
Let’s face it, any long-distance relationship comes with doubt. Being thousands of miles away from someone you love is far from painless. Let alone being thousands of miles away from somebody you’re just beginning to develop a connection with. The echoes of your single friends saying, “I could never be in a long-distance relationship.” “They never work out anyways.” You can’t seem to subside the looming thought that, what if you invest so much of yourself just for them to be strangers again– to a yearly birthday text, or maybe to not speaking at all? How do you overcome that wall of uncertainty and cynical expectations society has set for long-distance relationships?
Make an effort to communicate
This may seem obvious, but it’s truly the secret ingredient to maintaining and developing a connection with someone you aren’t able to see regularly. It can be overwhelming to balance a relationship while making time for your academics, friends, and personal needs. Communication doesn’t necessarily mean talking every day at all hours of the day. It’s understanding that there will be days or weeks when you don’t speak as often simply because of a heavy workload or schedules not aligning. Distance is one barrier, but time zones can sometimes feel like you’re a universe apart. It can be frustrating when schedules clash, and it may feel impossible to find time for your significant other while maintaining your sanity. Maybe your day begins when your partner’s day is reaching its end. This is where scheduling a time–at least once a week can be a game-changer. Arrange a time away from all the chaos to talk for an hour or binge-watch your favourite Netflix series together through a Netflix party. Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, and there are so many ways that you can celebrate with your S/O, despite the distance. Surprise your loved one by sending them flowers or ordering them their favourite food.
But we’re human. And part of that means that things are almost never in our control or unfold how we expect them to. So, if you find yourself liking someone but are held back by the fact that they live thousands of miles away, if you really want to make it work, take the leap. It might be difficult, but sometimes, the most challenging things in life are the most worth doing.