Chop Chop: Why So Many Women Are Afraid to Cut Their Hair

This article is difficult for me to write because honestly, I’m not afraid of short hair. In fact, I look forward to the feeling of leaving the hairdressers as a brand-new person. However, I do remember locking myself in the bathroom as a kid because I didn’t want my hair cut. And, when I look at photos of myself from that time, I had very long hair because my mum had given up trying to convince me to cut it. Now that I’m an adult who has tried a variety of haircuts, from a fringe to a bob, I have to say that reactions from other people differ depending on the haircut. In particular, whenever I have chopped off a sizeable amount, I’ve gotten forced smiles and comments like “but your hair looked so nice before.”

So what is it about cutting your hair as a woman that some people don’t like? And why do so many women fear the hairdresser’s chair, lest the trim they requested becomes a bob? Well, unfortunately, once again, it seems to be all about gender stereotypes.  

Hair is a big deal when it comes to identity. People express themselves through their hair. And, to express yourself in the world as a female is to have long hair. When you subvert that, people will be surprised. Yup, for some people, you cutting your hair is really that political, even in the year 2025.

As a kid, I was always shown pictures of women depicted as having long hair, and men as having short hair. And that was it. Anything different, because of this, felt wrong to me and other kids. Why would anyone break the rules like that? It limited our perception of beauty, one which was rooted in the separation of man and woman.

In the Victorian era, many women had long hair because it was associated with fertility and good health, so was said to attract men. However, as soon as these women were married, they would tie their hair back, hiding it from other men to perform modesty. Hair was a signifier, indicating a woman’s marital status. Leach (1958) concluded after studies of Hinduism in India and Buddhism in Sri Lanka, that long hair was associated with unrestrained sexuality, whereas short hair or tightly bound hair was associated with restricted sexuality. So, to be deemed desirable by men as a woman is to have long hair. And unfortunately, we still have it ingrained in our minds that there is something wrong about a woman who rejects the male gaze. 

But, in Sharan Dhaliwal’s article ‘These Intimate Portraits Examine How Hair Connects to Gender Identity’, women shared their haircuts and how they make them feel. In all cases, their haircuts are deeply personal to their expression of identity, and not, for the pleasure of anyone else. So why is it that so many women are taught that their hair is not just for them, but for men too?

Because to be a woman is to perform. To return to the Victorian era, two idioms, “letting her hair down” and “up tight”, originally referred to women’s hair. “Up tight” was how Victorian women wore their hair during the day, but, in the evening, “letting her hair down” was the process of the woman deconstructing herself at the end of the day. Even now, women are still expected to be put together, to perform, and in a way, prove their femininity every day. I know that a lot of women relate to coming home and “letting her hair down” in a way that they would not do in public.

But of course, hair doesn’t only express gender identity. It can express a range of identities, including racial. And, at the same time, hair can be targeted in an attempt to suppress certain identities. Kwaneta Harris writes about hair discrimination in America. She recounts being in prison when she was disciplined for her afro being deemed “extreme”. So, hair is more than just hair, but a target that people can project their opinions about certain identities onto and seek to control. 

I’ve also seen posts on social media go viral, telling women that if another woman suggests that they cut their hair short, then they’re trying to sabotage them. This returns to an old stereotype, which pits women against one another and suggests that women are constantly in competition. So not only are many women scared of the actual act of cutting their hair, but the idea of the hair cut has been weaponised by the patriarchy to wedge women further apart from one another. 

However, I wouldn’t go so far as to argue that many women choose to have long hair because they are confined by gender stereotypes. When you have been brought up with your hair being a certain way, then of course changing it is going to be scary. What if you don’t suit it? Many cultures believe that hair is significant, that it holds memories and experiences. We also tend to associate our haircuts with what we were going through at that time. For some, to cut that all off is to lose a part of themselves that they had been carrying around. And although that may be freeing, it’s also scary. 

Hair is not the root of the problem. It has been gendered. Gender stereotypes do confine female self-expression. And whilst I respect anyone’s wish to present as what we conceive of as male or female, I am alarmed by just how many women are afraid of cutting their hair, lest it makes them appear less feminine. But the only way to get over that is to just cut it. Because, if you go outside and look around, everyone is doing their own thing, and gender matters less and less. Of course, the roots of the patriarchy still run deep, but maybe one small act of defiance against it is to sport that short haircut that you’re so afraid of. And maybe this article has helped you to come to terms with that. In the year 2025, hair remains political, as is any expression of identity, but, it’s also not, and in the words of my mum from when I was a kid and afraid of cutting my hair, “it’s just hair, get over it”.

• #beauty
• #feminism
• #gender
• #hair
• #patriarchy
• haircut