Turning 18 is often treated as a milestone; you feel like you can do anything and everything, and genuinely believe that the world and its possibilities are endless.
The truth is, however, that being an eighteen-year-old girl is peak girlhood and a whirlwind of breakdowns all at once, whilst trying to navigate this new found responsibility of being a quote on quote “adult’’.
Therefore, as I am about to turn nineteen and have gained some wisdom from being a naive eighteen-year-old I present to you: 18 things I learnt at 18.
- Being 18 is not what it is all made out to be:
Being born in late November meant watching all of my friends celebrate their birthdays earlier and be able to do things I could not. I always thought that the second I turned eighteen I would have this so-called ‘adulthood’ thing figured out. Turns out I didn’t, and probably still don’t. When the climax comes to an end after all of the birthday parties, and you’re left alone with your existential crisis, you realise you are really not that different from the person you were two weeks ago. Being eighteen doesn’t feel any different than being seventeen.
- Don’t be scared to try new things:
When I first came to university, I did not know anyone and I was really happy to escape the confines of my hometown. However, I soon would not be able to escape the confines of my own bedroom. I was an insecure little girl, who thought she was not cool enough to do all of the things that she dreamed of doing at university. Now that I have a year at St Andrews under my belt, I can confidently say that one of the best things I have done was to put myself out there. I just had to bite the bullet, take a leap of faith, and not be afraid of what others thought because it’s pointless to spend your whole life being concerned about what other people think of you, you have to make yourself happy.
- Personal style is important:
At eighteen you really start to come into your own, and one way to gain a sense of self is through clothing! Studying on a campus that is very fashion-forward is the perfect outlet to see what you like and what you don’t. As Blair Waldorf said, “fashion is the most powerful art there is.’’I definitely went out of my comfort zone this year and tried items of clothing that I never would have considered before. Through this, I learnt how amazing and important it is to wear things that make you feel powerful and good about yourself. Plus, shopping is always fun!
- You win some, you lose some:
At the start of my eighteenth year, I had the most amazing group of friends from home and I did not want to lose any of these bonds from my teenage years. So I held on. However, sometimes people naturally drift apart and if you don’t nurture these relations, they’ll evaporate into the thin air; and they’ll become fond memories of people you went to highschool with. On the bright side, I have met some of the nicest and most caring people this year and found some lifelong friendships. It is true when they say… you win some, you lose some.
- The importance of female friendships:
My female friendships have been stronger than any relationship I have ever had with a man. It is so important for your wellbeing to have a community of genuinely lovely girls to build you up when you break, and make you laugh to tears on a random Wednesday night. I would not change that for the world.
- Laughing and smiling is the best medicine:
As women, we are told to smile more and men often will tell us that, “you look better when you smile,’’ and I loathe that. The only person you should be smiling for is for yourself! and I think being happy is so beautiful (as cheesy as it sounds). It’s such a refreshment when you finally realise that your laugh and smile is genuine, and not forced. As Audrey Hepburn once famously said: “Happy girls are the prettiest girls.’’
- When One Direction said, “I have loved you since we were eighteen’’ they lied:
I learnt this the hard way. When you think you have found your future husband, but he just turns out to be a deceitful frog; and not the Prince you have dreamed about since you were a little girl. Do not beat yourself up for it. Falling in and out of love when you’re young is part of growing up. Having your heart broken and crying to your mum is, as TikTok would phrase it, “peak Disney Channel girlhood.” However, feeling like you are falling behind all your friends who are in happy relationships is also a universal experience. I think we often set an expectation to meet our partners by a certain age and, when we don’t, we hear a ticking clock. But love will come when you least expect it and always remember that true love does exist because you exist, and you are full of it.
- Food is Fuel:
Eating well and cooking for yourself often don’t go hand in hand when you have just moved to university, only knowing how to boil pasta. That is why I made it my mission to learn how to cook good and healthy meals for myself, because food is a form of self love! And now I actually love cooking and look forward to coming home and chef-ing something new in the kitchen! For example, I love making Vegetarian dishes like: lettuce wrapped veggie burgers and homemade sweet potato fries are my go-to.
- Always be in your Love Actually era:
I think we often get so caught up in between library sessions and lectures that we don’t take in our stunning campus. Think about how truly lucky we are to study at a university with so much history embedded within its walls. It is worthwhile to take a step back: breathe in that salty air, and dip your toes in the freezing cold sea, because it will fill you with so much gratitude. In short, I learnt to appreciate the little things in life!
- Having a good relationship with your parents is so important:
When we get to a certain age, we want to push our parents away and discover what’s out there in the world for ourselves. However, as Taylor Swift said, “Don’t make her drop you off around the block, remember that she’s getting older too.’’ I learnt that, your parents are doing life for the first time as well, and seeing you grow up is just as hard on them as it is on you.
- Don’t let anyone dim your sparkle:
Along the way, there will be the odd person that sees that you shine a little too bright for their liking, and will try to make you feel inferior and extinguish your flame. Things like this used to consume me, but it is so crucial to not allow these things to bother you. As I say, … don’t let anyone dim your sparkle or determine your worth.
- Prioritising yourself is key:
I learnt this through experience. I would either spend too much time worrying over an exam, or bottle up my feelings and avoid any confrontation with what I was dealing with. It is so important to put yourself first: say no to things that make you feel uncomfortable, and say yes to things that you want to do! Take that study break when you feel like you need to.
- As a woman, you will have to work harder for EVERYTHING:
Over the summer, I had the chance to work in a profession that is highly dominated by men. It taught me one thing: as a woman, I will have to work 110% just to prove myself. It’s concerning that in these modern times, we still face gender discrimination in the workplace but it is always empowering to see a woman doing absolutely amazing in an office full of men.
- “Close your eyes… and now feel.’’
It is safe to say, the Barbie movie healed me and broke me at the same time. It redefined what it means to be feminine and brought forth a force of empowerment. Consequently, it reminded me that my emotions are valid, that what I am feeling is true and that no one can take that away from me, because it is my individual experience. Sitting with your complexity, and maybe not understanding what this feeling is, is a gift and part of adolescence. You will be “happy, free, confused and lonely at the same time’’ even if you are just eighteen.
- Falling in and out of love with your degree is normal:
In high school, I adored literature and could not wait till my degree would revolve around reading. However, I hit a curb when it was not what I expected, and started to dread going to my English lectures. I think we face pressure to decide what we want to do with our lives at a very young age, and we get overwhelmed when the time arrives to start the “rest of our lives’’ e.g. going to university. I learnt that in order to fall back in love with my degree, I had to figure out what made me fall for it in the first place, and work from step one, back to the top.
- Someone else’s beauty is not the absence of your own:
Growing up in the times of social media and evident beauty standards is extremely difficult and poses a threat to our self esteem. We look at celebrities’ Instagrams and we look at random people’s Instagrams and sit, stare, and dream about what it would feel like to be as “perfect’’ as them. The truth is, everyone has their own set of insecurities and the only person that sees your flaws is you. You must remember that everyone is beautiful in their own way, and beauty goes deeper than the surface. Therefore, sometimes you will just have to look in the mirror and instead of pointing out all of the things you hate, start to see all of the things you love about yourself.
- Music is better played live:
If you take anything away from this article, it is that nothing beats the feeling of standing front row at your favourite artist’s gig and hearing the songs that have been the soundtrack to your life. It is a feeling beyond incomprehensible. It heals you and transports you to a world with just you, the band and the songs. So, if you are debating going to see that artist live,don’t …just do it!
- “You’re on your own, Kid’’
Truth be told, you are now on your own. You must learn your morals, your standards, and truly what kind of person you are and want to be. It is all up to you from here on, and it is so important that you continue to make mistakes, learn from them, and then make some more. Life is a learning experience, and it is your experience.
As I’m about to embark on my journey as a nineteen-year-old, I reassure you that I have many more life lessons and new experiences coming my way. Despite this, the things I learnt at eighteen, I will hold dearly close to my heart. I will never forget this formative age because I have made some of the best memories and endured many hardships that I am grateful for, because they’ve ultimately formed me into who I am today.
These are the eighteen things I learnt at eighteen…see you next year.