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I Now Present To You Mrs. and Mr. Barker

In case you live under a rock and didn’t know… Kourtney Kardashian and Travis Barker are ENGAGED (just kidding, if you didn’t know, I applaud you… I wish I had the ability to not be so consumed with celebrities' lives who don’t even know of my existence).

 This is hands down going to be the most anticipated wedding in years for more reasons than one. I could write about all the details of why this wedding is going to be so iconic and all the drama leading up to it, but I'll spare you the details and skip right to the good part. Wedding details.

 From the dress(es) I am sure we will be talking about for years to come, to the music playlist, to the cake, I have thought it all out for you. We all have seen Kourtney transform into a gothic queen throughout her relationship with Travis leaving us all to speculate about the colors and boldness behind this wedding. While I feel like this is most definitely just a phase I guarantee you it is going to be intertwined into every detail of the wedding.

 I now present to you my predictions on the one and only’s Kourtney Kardashian’s gothic punk rock wedding. 

Guest list:

We need to begin with the most important part, the guest list. The only guests that matter at this wedding are going to be Scott Disick and Stormi… I need to know if Scott is being invited immediately and if so, will he show up? I am sure how it all plays out is going to be very telling of the future they have ahead of themselves. 

Not going to lie, I may or may not be more excited to see what outfit Stormi arrives in. We all know she is going to be best dressed. 

Another anticipated guest we are all going to be looking out for is  TikTok queen, Addison Rae, who we have all watched be replaced by Travis Barker. 

We also need to consider who each Kardashian is bringing as their plus one. Imagine if Kim Kardashian brings Pete Davidson as her way of officially announcing they are together. She would once again break the internet. We already know that Kylie will likely bring Travis Scott, Khloe will bring Tristan Thompson, and Kendall will bring Devin Booker. 

Cake:

I predict that the cake is going to be black on the outside and then when you cut into it it will be red velvet. The topper will be two skeletons representing Travis and Kourt. Of course it will be massive because when you have money like them,why would it not be? I could also see them having multiple cakes with different designs. Potentially one with the TK logo Travis made out of red roses when he proposed.

Music:

I feel like it is non negotiable that Travis serenades Kourtney at their wedding, which will then be followed by Machine Gun Kelly taking it away for the rest of the night. (also can we just talk about the fits we are about to get from Megan Fox and MGK???)

Florals:

Considering Kourtney’s proposal was surrounded by what looked like thousands of red roses, I have a feeling this is going to be a consistent theme throughout the wedding. I am sure the bouquet she holds as she walks down the aisle will be strictly red roses. I am envisioning Twilight’s Edward and Bella’s wedding, but swap out the white hanging flowers for red roses. 

Entertainment:

Tattoo artist - I am pretty sure Travis is covered head to toe in tattoos so I feel like it would only be fitting for them to have a tattoo artist at the reception giving tattoos in honor of their special day. 

Photo booth - At every Kardashian event there are the iconic photo booth photos that they post on instagram to subtly flex every celebrity who was exclusive enough to be invited.

Bridesmaids: 

I do not think Kourtney is going to have any bridesmaids, but if she did I would guess she would only choose her sisters to prevent any drama. Let’s be real though, even with them there, there will still of course be drama. Kim is going to make custom Skim robes for them all to wear when they get ready for the wedding and custom Skims pajamas for the night before the wedding.

Dress: 

I have given this so much thought and have so many different ideas on what could happen. One thing I am sure of is that Kourt is going to have lots of outfit changes. She has recently been hinting on her instagram the color red in her posts. I predict one of the many dresses she is going to wear will be a silk red elegant low back number with a corset top. 

Of course Kourt is anything but basic, so I could see the dress she walks down the aisle in being customized, but not just by anyone… the one and only Virgil Ablah. Renowned american fashion designer, artist, architect, creator of Off-White, Kardashian family friend, need I say more… Remember Hailey Beiber’s wedding dress with “till death do us part” hand sewn at the bottom? Yeah, that was him. What if Kourtney had a similar idea, but instead sewn at the bottom of the train it would say “All The Small Things”,paying homage to Travis Barker’s past as the Blink 182 drummer. 

Then, at some point in the night, possibly during their honeymoon sendoff, I think they are going to wear matching leather jackets that have “Barker” on the back. I can just see it now. 

Stay tuned, I’ll be back to discuss all the details immediately after the wedding happens. If you made it this far I am assuming you love the Kardashian’s as much as me and therefore we are now best friends. 

P.S. if you are concerned about how invested I am in this wedding … don’t worry, I am too.

Social Justice and Cultural Studies + Psychology Major who aspires to work at UNICEF
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