I wouldn’t say that I really believe in astrology. At the same time, my go-to first date question is always “What’s your sign?”. I’m obsessed with analyzing the zodiac signs of every person I meet and judging them accordingly. You’re a Pisces? No, thanks. You’re a Virgo? Earth sign twins! And, of course, I have a Co-Star profile that I check religiously every day.
Co-Star is an astrology-based, social media app that lets you connect with your friends, enemies, and lovers to discover how compatible you are based on your signs. It also sends out “daily updates” with tips and tricks on how to act that day in alignment with the universe. Part of those daily updates includes a short list of Dos and Don’ts.
Last week, I decided to live my life according to my Co-Star. I did what I could to follow the Do’s and Don’ts prescribed to me every day, with the hope that maybe it would drastically improve my life. Spoiler alert: It didn’t.
It all started on Monday, with three To-Dos on my list: “Hot tubs,” “Catch up on texts” and “Take it slow.” My Don’ts for the day were a little more abstract: “Sudden reversals”, “Enemies close”, and “Hexes”. I wasn’t planning on casting any curses that day, but Co-Star’s reminder definitely swayed me away from it.
There was instantly an issue with my Co-Star sponsored activity list — I don’t own a hot tub. I’m a college student sharing a house with seven other people and I live off of Trader Joe’s white cheddar shells and sour dough bread. That is to say, I am definitely not in the demographic likely to own a hot tub.
My solution? Taking a hot bath. I can admit that the bath was relaxing. It was a good moment of self-care after a hectic Monday, but I wouldn’t say that it improved my day by more than a 4% margin; maybe it’s because I wasn’t accurate enough to Co-Star’s wishes that I spend my day in a hot tub.
The other two Dos of the day were relatively easier to follow through on. I’ve never been one to leave texts unanswered and I was more than happy to walk a little slower to class. These first three To-Dos of the week did set a common pattern for the next six days. My three prescribed Co-Star activities would often include one or two tangible items (waffles, clean surfaces, Wikihow) and then one that was so abstract I couldn’t even begin to formulate it into reality (learning curve, play your hand, brevity). How do I do “In due time”?
The Don’ts I was given throughout the week were similar, but even more intangible. On Thursday I was supposed to avoid “babying”. On Saturday I was banned from “shock value” and “crashing parties”. There were even times where my Don’ts had a negative effect on my day. On Wednesday I didn’t return any emails, at the behest of Co-Star, of course. As a college student with a job and a student leadership position, returning emails is a staple of my day. Co-Star made sure that stopped for 24 hours.
But don’t fear, there were a few bright moments throughout the week. My roommates and I had a small fight on Saturday night that left me anxious and not feeling my brightest. I turned to my Co-Star app for some inspo, and cheered myself up with “Slow jams,” “Scented candles” and “Dancing alone” in my room to Toxic by Britney Spears. On Wednesday I was supposed to “Clean surfaces.” As someone who loves to clean, I was more than happy to whip out my lemon-scented surface wipes and get to it. On Sunday I had an excuse to go to a coffee shop. I have to do it for the article, I told myself.
One of my favorite Co-Star sanctioned moments of the week was Friday, when I was instructed to do “WikiHow.” I spent about twenty minutes that night reading WikiHow articles that were less than helpful, but gave me a laugh to skim. I learned that when I need relationship advice, the “How to Know if Someone Likes You” article on WikiHow is not the place to look.
I will admit I didn’t entirely stick to the Co-Star playbook every day. On Thursday I wasn’t supposed to use my phone. I made the executive decision to ignore that one. On Friday I was supposed to listen to books on tape, but unfortunately a $22 audiobook on Spotify was not in my budget for the week. Maybe if I had completed every single task, I might have felt a bit closer to the universe.
Now, Co-Star doesn’t claim to be the fix-all for anyone’s life problems. Some of the daily updates can be good reminders to clean up your room, be a little nicer to your roommates or return those emails you’ve been putting off. However, the universe isn’t sending subliminal messages through the coding of Co-Star. I can strongly say that at the most Co-Star can be a Band-Aid on a rough day, but if you’re looking for more than that I don’t think an iPhone app is the place to go.
After all, the stars can only tell us so much.