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four women talking to each other
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SPU | Culture

Big Sister Advice

Karissa Brown Student Contributor, Seattle Pacific University
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at SPU chapter and does not reflect the views of Her Campus.

I am not a big sister, but I have often felt like one when I interact with my friends. Girl friendships are so valuable and something I have learned to truly cherish deeply. There is so much we can learn from each other, especially from girl-to-girl, to normalize and bring forward hushed truths. As women, we are often taught not to talk about certain topics out loud or are taught to feel ashamed, so having women you feel safe enough to open up to is incredibly freeing. 

Some of the most fulfilling moments of my life have come from speaking freely with the women in my life. People who have gone through so much and feel comfortable enough to share details that we have never named before. Shared experiences come to the surface. As we grow up, we start to think we know everything while simultaneously being consistently surprised and learning. We are all lifetime learners and even though I am only 21 and don’t actually know anything, these are pieces of advice that have genuinely shaped how I view myself and the world. 

Love isn’t what you think. Love isn’t when you care about someone, or someone who makes you happy, or you think about a lot. Love is when you have these things for someone and consistently choose to grow this connection with them, no matter the hardships and arguments faced. You can feel great feelings for someone all you want, but if you don’t want to choose to work through anything for them, then you are not acting on love. Love is perseverance. 

Take videos and photos. You will be surprised how much you forget details of special memories and moments, but having physical media to look back on reminds you of the context and exact memory. 

Find people who let you learn about yourself. I have had many relationships with people who talk about themselves and their passions, and never really make space for my thoughts. This made me think that I had no strong passions, no real dreams: how could I if I can’t articulate them to anyone? People who ask questions and actually listen, people who pause and let you go on. The more I have been able to formulate my thoughts to someone, the more I realize how many things I love and why. 

Invest in hygiene. Buy nice perfumes, get long-lasting deodorant, and take showers often. Wash your bedsheets, your makeup brushes, and have a simple skincare routine. Small investments here and there will not only make you more presentable, but it is an investment into self-care and self-love. Rituals having to do with taking care of yourself can be very fulfilling. 

Don’t say things you wouldn’t say to someone’s face. Especially not in writing anywhere. Gossip is something that— let’s face it—everyone does to some extent. Complaining and shared struggles bring people together. However, the truth can often come out unexpectedly, and when you don’t wish it to. Be cautious about how you talk about others and how it reflects on you. I always stand by my valid criticisms and experiences. 

The freest you can be is being in love with yourself and letting that confidence shine through anyone’s opinions of you. 

Karissa Brown

SPU '26

Karissa Brown is a first-year new author and is very excited to be a part of Her Campus! She is currently dual majoring in Political Science and Liberal Arts at Seattle Pacific University. She has loved writing and researching since she was little and writing her own stories.
Along with Her Campus, she is part of the SPU Sustainability Club and the Urban Involvement Club which help her learn more about our ever-growing world. In her free time, she enjoys hanging out with friends, crafting, walking, writing, exploring and trying new things!