Whenever sexual violence is reported, people are quick to list “tips” for others to avoid a similar situation. A quick Google search of “rape prevention tips” will yield pages and pages of advice. Some of these tips may include:
· Don’t wear revealing clothing
· Don’t go outside alone after dark
· Don’t drink alcohol or do any drugs
· Understand and utilize your right to say no
· Ask for a valid form of ID from anyone you choose to go out with
· Always travel in pairs or groups
· Make sure you don’t send any mixed signals to your date
· Carry a whistle or some sort of alarm at all times
· Avoid sitting near groups of young men, especially on public transit
· Learn basic self-defense skills which do not rely on physical size to be effective
· Do not go out with someone who disrespects women in any way
Or, in some more extreme cases:
· Vomit or urinate to deter a potential rapist
· Tell the perpetrator that you are menstruating, even if you must lie
· Tell the perpetrator that you have a dangerous STD, even if you must lie
Knowing how to defend oneself is an important step in preventing any sort of crime, but there is no foolproof way to avoid becoming a victim of sexual violence. Some of these pieces of advice are good for general safety, especially the idea of learning some self –defense techniques. Many of them, however, place most of the blame on the victim, rather than holding the perpetrator accountable for their actions. A rapist can be anyone, and it is statistically more likely for the assailant to be someone the victim already knows. Also, a person can take plenty of precautions and still not know that a person can become disrespectful, discomforting, or violent until it is too late.
Recently, a rape was reported to have taken place on Morehouse College’s campus. The victim is a Spelman student, thus Spelman’s Public Safety office sent an email to all students telling what occurred and then offering advice to prevent general crime committed by strangers from happening. The email explained that the incident happened in the early morning hours, at the hands of someone the victim already knew. Spelman and Morehouse students, after reading the email, took frustrations to Twitter, sparking the hashtag #TellRapists. These tweets emphasize the importance of consent and making assailants aware that power is not to be asserted over anyone else’s body.
In addition to the hashtag, students from both institutions tweeted about their personal experiences and demonstrated passionate concern not only for our Spelman Sister in this particular incident, but to anyone else who has been the victim of a sex crime. Students questioned why Morehouse students did not also receive notification of the incident, and suggested that because the Atlanta University Center is small and close, students at all three schools should have been aware of the situation.
Every reported case of sexual assault should be taken seriously. If any of your Spelman sisters or Morehouse brothers come to you with a story of assault, believe them and listen to their story when they are ready to share.
For more information and to learn about the resources available to survivors of sexual assault, visit the Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network website at www.rainn.org, call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at (800) 656 – HOPE( 4673), or use the online hotline through the RAINN website.
For information on what to do specifically at Spelman College, visit the Spelman Public Safety website’s sexual assault page. In the event of assault, Spelman has a 24 hour hotline which can be reached at (678) 873-5884. Spelman also has counseling services available through the Health Services Department for those in need.
Keep yourself and your sisters safe, and remember that if an incident does occur, you are not alone. As shown by the outpouring of support via Twitter after Spelman sent the email, we as students will stand up for our sisters.
We are our sister’s keepers.