Ah, it’s Saturday night again. At around 7 p.m., you can usually find me going to work on the pre-pregame session that every girl knows so well. It’s called, “getting ready to go out.”
For me, it may involve some hair straightening or curling, a thick, dark cat-eye, and whichever lipstick goes with the outfit that took me 45 minutes to decide on. Can’t deny it, I’m looking good and feeling good.
And at some point during the night my friends and I snap some pictures because we look hot, obviously. And then comes the Instagram, that night or the next day (depending on how crazy the night was). And hopefully with the “Insta” comes likes and comments. And while I appreciate all of my fans, there’s one comment that I never know how to respond to. Here are the variations:
“You look so skinny!”
“Skinny mini”
“You’re so tiny”
Um…thank you?
Whenever I get a comment like this, I never know what to say. Surely it’s meant to flatter me, but should it? Since when did “skinny” become a compliment?
As someone who has constantly struggled with weight, I can only assume my friends are applauding my decreasing waistline. It’s true: I work pretty hard to burn off all the extra calories I love to inhale, and my friends know that.
Yet, I continously see this comment on pictures of girls who are naturally a size zero. I can’t help but think, “Yeah, she IS skinny…why point that out?”
Truthfully, when I see a comment like that on one of my photos, I start to analyze myself in that picture. Maybe I did an extra spin class that week? Maybe the outfit really flatters my figure? Or is it the angle? But most likely, the person assumed “skinny” was something I would want to hear.
It’s not.
I spent an hour taming my crazy thick hair. I had to redo my eyeliner three times to make it even on both eyes. It took me AT LEAST 45 minutes to pick out that outfit, and I looked pretty freaking good if you ask me. You could have complimented any of the previous, but instead you’re going to tell me how my weight appears in a photograph?
Telling me I look skinny is the equivalent of telling me my hair looks brown. It’s an observation, not a compliment.
I’m not here to hate, because we all do it. You may not have even thought twice about it until now. But ladies, we need to stop. There are plenty of beautiful women who are not skinny, and there are too many beautiful women starving themselves so that people will tell them they look thin.
I personally know women with eating disorders that were encouraged by these comments. They became obsessed with people telling them how thin they had gotten, as if it was the best compliment they had ever received. And most times, these “compliments” only fueled their unhealthy weight loss habits.
So next time your girlfriend looks smokin’ hot in her picture, tell her how awesome her hair looks, how beautiful her smile is, or how she totally rocks that outfit. But please, remember one thing: “skinny” does not mean beautiful.
XOXO,
Kristina Zagame