As we head into the Halloween season (the greatest time of year, let’s be real. Christmas who?), it’s time to think about one of the scariest things we collegiettes face: the ghost. We’re not talking creepy, beyond-the-grave, bump-in-the-night ghosts. No, the ghost you should REALLY be afraid of is the cute guy you met downtown who texted you for two weeks only to disappear into thin air. Sound familiar? Below are just a few of the ghosts you’ll encounter as you try to navigate the dating scene.
1. Casper
The friendly ghost. He’s super sweet, he makes you laugh, you two get along great. It definitely seems like he likes you. Unfortunately, there’s nothing scarier to this ghost than the idea of commitment. Once things start heading in the direction of more than friends, he’ll vanish.
2. Beetlejuice
You’ll never hear from him unless you reach out first. He’s over-confident and maybe even a little lazy. He knows he doesn’t have to chase you, so he just won’t put in any effort. This flame will burn out quicker than the candle in your Jack-o-Lantern.
3. Danny Phantom
The half ghost. He can’t make up his mind. He’ll text you nonstop for days and then poof! He goes ghost. Give it a few weeks, and he’ll be messaging you again as if nothing happened.
4. Moaning Myrtle
Moaning Myrtle has some issues, but hey, we all do. You’re basically like his personal therapist. He comes to you with all his problems and expects you to fix it. You’re always there for him, but when you need a shoulder to cry on he’s as silent as the grave.
5. Slimer
Like Casper, this ghost is not a fan of relationships. The main difference is Slimer won’t even pretend to be nice. He’ll send you sleazy, slimy pick-up lines and expect you to swoon. Once you finally do hook up, it’s like you’ve been proton blasted out of his contacts list. Beware the random “u up?” text you’ll get months later when he’s feeling lonely.
Bonus: Poltergeist
Someone YOU ghost. You’re not into him, and you want to let him down without hurting his feelings. Ghosting him just seems like the easiest solution. The only problem is he can’t take a hint and will message you repeatedly when he doesn’t get a response. It seems almost impossible to get rid of him, and he’ll drive you crazy. An exorcism may be required in this case.
Basically, dating in 2017 is pretty scary. If you don’t already have a boo you, might want to keep the Ghostbusters on speed-dial.