As cheesy as it is, I grew up watching romantic comedies with my mom. Movies such as Something Borrowed, 27 Dresses, Bride Wars, Life as We Know It, or When In Rome. These were my repetitive movies. Did I understand most of it? Probably not, but I knew that I enjoyed them more than Saturday morning cartoons (sometimes).
That being said, to say that I had expectations of love and adulthood was a total understatement. I assumed that once I was in college I would have all of these awesome friends. Friends who I would go out with every Friday night and we would complain about our weeks and then we’d have a glass of wine and we’d go our own ways. Well, that was not the case. Love, however? For me at the least, it’s been a chaotic ride.
And by chaotic ride, I mean basically just the plot of a romantic comedy. In the last year, I’ve gone through a toxic relationship that left me very broken. I’ve argued with friends and they’ve stood by my side regardless of how little I listened to their advice. 2021 was my romantic comedy, and even now that plot is still continuing as I embrace the world of a healthy relationship with one of my best friends.
Life can be a romantic comedy. Every Cosmo article will tell you that love is not a rom-com, love is real and heavy and difficult to handle. And yes, I can agree with that, but love can be a telenovela, or a rom-com, or whatever you want it to be.
Here is my disclaimer: As much as we want love to be a Shakespearean romance, it’s very difficult for love to live up to those expectations. Love is what we make it, love is finding a person and knowing deep down somewhere that they are who you need them to be exactly when you need them. And when I first started writing this article, I thought love would be impossible. For reference, I started this piece in October of 2021 and I am now finishing it in February of 2022. Within the last month, I rediscovered my love for a close friend who I had always held close to my heart. It took one night of angst, sadness, alcohol, and a sprinkle of hope and fear to bring back feelings I had buried a long time ago. It took those moments with this one person for me to have the faith in myself to hand my phone to someone and say the words all of my friends had been waiting months to hear me say, “block her completely.” And they did, and within the last month, I have been the happiest I’ve ever been.
I can confidently say, life can be a rom-com, but love itself? Love isn’t. Life is full of comedic moments that make you want memories to last, life is full of romance and excitement and passion, you just have to search for it (and/or look to the person who you acted like you were platonic but you totally weren’t).
I’m going on and on about how life can in fact be a rom-com, but how can it be when the whole love and romance part can’t be? Well, life can be whatever you make of it, and if what you want to make of it is a 2000’s blockbuster movie all about running around a city trying to find the love of your life while also balancing the typical life of a college student, then you can totally do that. In fact, here are some tips to help you turn your life into its own movie.
Start with a great soundtrack.
- Music is the speech of the world. Having a good song or two that describes exactly what you’re feeling is a good starting point. Find the song that makes you want to dance around your kitchen like you’re starring in Someone Great. My advice here? Dance, sing, enjoy every single moment when a song is on. And if you need some help getting started, here is my personal playlist of romantic comedy music.
Seize every moment.
- Obviously, this is so much easier said than done. But once you begin to seize one or two moments, you’ll continuously do it. On a date with someone and you’re really vibing? Do it, whatever you’re thinking, do it. Grab their hand, kiss their cheek, kiss them (remember consent and always pay attention to your partner’s emotions and body language, it makes a world of difference). Also, if you bump heads or any other awkward body movement happens and they laugh and vibe with that…babe, you found a person to stick to for a hot minute.
Live life for yourself.
- This is the most classic piece of advice I could give anyone. Don’t live your life for anyone but yourself. Embrace the bad, and the good, and the ugly. If you wake up looking like a troll (cause I do) embrace it and turn that into your Snapchat streak photo. You’re not on this earth to benefit anyone but yourself. Please never ever forget that.
Notice the small things.
- Recently, I was on the phone with my partner and we were speaking about a topic that was a tad bit awkward for the two of us when he had stated that he knew he was being awkward, I told him to relax his shoulders and to stop clenching his jaw. Apparently, I know him better than he thought I did. Noticing the small things about a person (partner, friend, or stranger) can not only help to relax their nerves but noticing the small things around you helps you practice that bit of mindfulness that can make your heart bloom.
Let your heart wander.
- On my ankle, I have a tattoo that blatantly states that I am afraid of love. And at the time of getting that tattoo, I did think that love was terrifying, that love would always be terrifying. While I don’t believe that love is completely absent of fear, I do believe that there are ways to embrace that fear. As happy as I am with my current partner, yes, I am still scared because I saw how brutalized I was coming out of the last relationship that I know a repeat of that would break me in ways I don’t want to comprehend. The difference here? Trust. I trust him, but more importantly, I trust myself. And that is making a world of difference. I never trusted my previous partner, and I never trusted myself. Let your heart wander, let it explore. So many beautiful things can happen when you trust your heart to lead you where it wants to go.
Seek out the excitement
- One of the most important things I can tell you to do on a daily basis is to seek out the excitement. Seek the adrenaline (safely, please), seek the moments where you have a euphoric feeling even if those moments only last for seconds or minutes at a time, seek them. Plan exciting events for yourself, attend events that might have made you uncomfortable, expand your horizons.
As always, these are just some tips that I do my best to practice on a day-to-day basis. I don’t stand by the idea of you only live once, but I do stand by the idea of living each day as if it will be the best day of your life. Because you never know, tomorrow, today, any day, it could be the day you meet your person, it could be the day you smile the most or it could easily be the day that you decide to let your worries go and to live the best life you could live. Love may not be a romantic comedy, but life can be whatever you make it.