Nowadays, especially in college life, it feels almost impossible to have a relationship that does not immediately lead or begin with sex. Hook-up culture has become the new norm for most young people, and this can lead to some un-answered questions. Most of the time, when going to that place with someone preferences and boundaries can be looked over. Feeling safe and comfortable is the top priority and without communicating to your partner what exactly you may like or what’s off the table can be really intimidating, especially if it’s a new relationship or situation-ship. What is most important to remember though is you should never have to give up your preferences just because the other person says so.
An extremely common example of this is asking a guy to wear a condom. I have heard more and more stories of girls asking a guy to wear protection, but he refuses. In the moment of course, it seems like there’s not much else left to do but agree, but your safety and comfort is a vital when in that situation. It can be daunting to think about now but there is more than one person involved when having sex, so why is it up to only one person to decide how things go?
Communication is key
Whenever taking that step with someone, making sure they know your boundaries can make the experience just that much better. Let them know which lines not to cross and what is okay with you so there is no miscommunication or awkward surprises. Making sure both parties are safe and comfortable is crucial, but you and your partner should also be able to enjoy yourselves and live in the moment without worrying about what might happen next. The hook-up culture has somewhat completely altered the way people interact and it is important to be prepared!
Just remember, you do not need to sacrifice your needs for someone else’s! Communication is key and with it, you and your partner will be able to feel comfortable and know what to expect. Now more than ever being able to set limits and make sure your partner respects and understand these limits will make everything that much more enjoyable for everyone. You should never have to compromise your wants, just be open and honest!