Like many, I spent my first night on Tinder after a high school dance to mess around with my friends. Ever since then, I’ve turned to Tinder and similar apps for times where I felt even more single than usual and wanted to take action to ensure I was meeting and talking with people.
Every time I downloaded the app again, it only took me a few days to remember how much I hated it and swear never to download it again. Cue next cycle. This time, however, I think I’m going to stick with it.
And it’s not because Tinder doesn’t work. I have several close friends in committed relationships, yes the actual relationships some say you can’t get from the apps, from Tinder. Truthfully, Tinder is a viable option. It’s just not right for everybody. That’s why the concept that all single people need the app bothers me. Singles who aren’t on the apps are sometimes met with confusion. Not everybody understands that you can simultaneously be hoping for a relationship and not even want to consider the apps as an option. So let’s clear the air.
One reason Tinder isn’t right for you or your single friend is that you don’t connect well over text. I’ve personally found it hard to really convey myself or understand others solely through text. Since I could never get a grasp on who someone was, I never could tell if we were good enough of a match to go out.
Another reason someone may not find success on Tinder is if they prefer having a deeper connection before dating. Tinder profiles mostly convey information about hobbies and likes, which doesn’t say much about an emotional connection. Some people are down to go out with someone just because they like the same movies, and wait to see if it turns into something more, but this experience is awkward and uncomfortable for others.
One final reason is that not everybody is OK with the superficiality. At the end of the day, the majority of Tinder matches are just based on physical attraction. Many people don’t have anything written in their bio at all. This is perfectly fine if you’re comfortable with it, but others have a hard time navigating a sea of faces and knowing they are just a face themselves.
Again, there’s nothing wrong with the app. Just make sure you aren’t pressuring your friends to download apps they’re uncomfortable just because they’ve been single for a while. But if it’s your thing… happy swiping!