Florence Given on Pretty Privilege

Florence Given (she/her) is a 23-year-old Sunday Times Best-Selling, record-breaking author, and an award-winning influencer. With the release of her record-breaking book, “Women Don’t Owe You Pretty,” Florence became the youngest author to make the top 5 Sunday Times best-seller list. The book has sold more than 200,000 copies, with utmost support from all genders worldwide. Florence’s representation of feminism has confronted oppressive attitudes towards women in modern times while raising awareness of issues surrounding sexuality, race, gender, and identity. More importantly, her work redefining modern feminism has completely transformed my life.

Beauty lessons

My entire life, I’ve struggled to define the concept of feminism. From a young age, I learned how to behave “like a girl,” and the importance of acting “lady-like”, whatever that means. I contemplated through seemingly infinite definitions of the term, determined to understand the concept of “feminity” and the role it plays in my life.

When I was in high school, I used to wake up long before school started, spending the early hours of the morning looking at my reflection in the mirror, contemplating what needed to be done before announcing myself presentable. I spent thousands of dollars on cosmetic products that promised to make me look like those girls on magazine covers, only to be disappointed in the results. I convinced myself that my value relied on the acceptance of others, and the overwhelming pressure to adhere to the standards of being a woman. I exhausted myself trying to adhere to an unreachable beauty standard while my twin brother could wake up ten minutes before school started, and show up with drool stains on his shirt while nobody even bats an eye. I found myself conforming to those around me, eager to be accepted and desired by groups of people with little regard to what I could offer other than my femininity. I convinced myself that my worth was based on the few ways in which I could strive in a man’s world, and quickly learned how “pretty privilege” sets an impossible standard for women.

“Have you ever thought about what you could do with that extra time? Have you ever wondered what your life might look like if you just showed up as you are?”

– Florence Given

Florence Given acknowledges the discussion about whether desirability really is a privilege since its benefits are rooted in the objectification of our bodies, not in respect to our entire being. She taught me how I learned to squash and minimalize key aspects of myself in order to gain the validation of people around me, men in particular. By living to please everyone else, I lost the parts of myself that I used to take pride in. I feel like for the first time in twenty years, I’m finally getting to know myself, free of the limitations society tries to force upon women.

Women Don’t Owe you Pretty

The book that changed my life. If you know me, you probably know about this book. Florence Given released me from the constraints of caring what others think about me. Her book has helped me tackle and challenge the limiting narrative that I’ve been bombarded with my entire life and finally allowed me to determine feminism on my own terms.

Her book makes you think and revaluate everything and every decision you have ever made in your life. Florence explores topics such as self-care, feminism, relationships, healing, and recognizing privilege. Some hard truths will make you think how could I have been so blind or what was I thinking. Although some parts are difficult to read, it’s all about growth. You discover that the only person who will ever love you unconditionally (your true love) is yourself…so you better hurry up, forgive yourself, and start loving yourself a lot more.

“You don’t owe prettiness to anyone. Not to your boyfriend/spouse/partner, not to your co-workers, especially not to random men on the street. You don’t owe it to your children, you don’t owe it to civilization in general. Prettiness is not a rent you pay for occupying a space marked ‘female.’”

– Erin McKean, Florence Given

• empowerment
• female empowerment
• feminism
• women