One recent TikTok video I’ve been seeing is ‘an era to avoid — a friend group of three.’ I know groups of three get a bad rep. How could they not, when it’s easy to gang up with two against one, or to have someone always sit on one side of the table alone? But I’m here to debunk the negativity for a friend group of three because that’s been my entire life.
In high school I had a bigger group of friends, but me and two other girls were the core of it. We were all so different; R wanted to be an engineer, E wanted to be an artist, and I wanted to study Chinese. But it helped in the long run that we were so different because we could share so much. R and E bonded over love of similar TV shows, R and I have the same taste in designs and books, and E and I want the same aesthetics out of life. No fighting, no drama, nothing.
Cut to college and it’s the same. A, B and I clicked first semester freshman year and were inseparable. We were always together, did everything together, and moved in with another friend our sophomore year. The difference here is that we did fight. More than I thought. I think it was because we lived together and saw each other probably 16 out of 24 hours, so we just got too close.
The fights were never enough to totally split us apart, but there were some tense moments for sure. And it wasn’t even about two growing closer and one feeling left out, it was more external stuff. We were all on an executive board of a campus organization, and the work took its toll on us alongside school and general growing up.
It would be awkward in the house, not much confrontation, and lots of whispering. At this point, our other roommate was included but it still stemmed from the three of us. It’s tough when you know for a fact that people are talking about you. But we moved past it through learning and communicating — and maybe some distance.
Now, we’re just as close as we have ever been. It took a while to get there. A and B needed to sort out some of their own issues after we all graduated. I needed to give them space. But here we are now, planning to visit B in Miami this summer for a much-needed girls trip.
We had other friends, and that certainly helped in keeping us busy. But at the end of the day, for all of college, we were each other’s people. Everything that happened we wanted to tell each other. We needed opinions, advice, laughter. It never felt like an awkward number. There are great people in trios — Harry Potter, Charlie’s Angels, the Powerpuff Girls. They might have misunderstandings every now and again, but they always fall back together.
That’s how my trio has been. We’ve been through everything together, from boys to grades and everything in between. There were definitely times when I spent time more with one or the other, and they did the same to me. But at the end of the day, it didn’t matter. We were comfortable enough in our relationship to know we were never brushing someone off. Sometimes, you have to remember that not everything is so personal — as tough as it may be.
There is power in numbers and for me it has always been three. I was spoiled seeing them every day for four years straight, so it has been difficult navigating grad school without them. But that is what makes the times we can be together so special.