Why Didn't Your Ex-Tell You Sooner



Got broken up with? Don’t worry me too. It hurts, huh? It is as if you question yourself what you did wrong and what could have done better, but you are wrong. In our lives, we all have to experience a heartbreak. When my ex-boyfriend and I broke up, I cried in the car for 15 minutes listening to Celine Dion wondering what I did wrong. I played in my head everything I did wrong in my relationship but I realized what could have happened. 


There are many different reasons why he/she didn’t tell you sooner how they were feeling.

  1. He/she was scared of you. Your ex-did does not want to hurt your feelings because you could be aggressive at times for little things and was scared of how angry you would be.

  2. Your ex-feelings for you changed. During your relationship, something could have happened that he/she realized that they only saw you as a friend and did not want your relationship to change.

  3. You two are so different. You two have nothing in common at all. If you like going out for adventures, while your ex-prefers staying inside, then that's a major bump in the road.

  4. You are not giving enough. This may sound like an insult, but let's say he wants to go out to dinner, but you rather have dinner with only your friends, you are not giving him the attention as a relationship should have. Your ex could not have time to tell you since you are not giving the attention your partner needed.

  5. Distance is too far. Many relationships have a far distance that you need to make time to facetime or skype, but your ex could not have handled it anymore. Your ex could have felt the distance is too hard and want to be physically with you instead.

  6. Starting fresh. A lot of exes do this. When people start college or a new job, they will break up with you, but wanted to give it a shot with you to make it work, but it could have not been working with your ex.

  7. Changing your ex for yourself. If you changing your ex-such as making them hang out with you more than their friends, what they wear, and what they eat, your ex could not handle the change because it is too much for them as well as accepting the change.

  8. The past still affecting the future. People need time to heal from a heartbreak. Some use this heartbreak heal to quickly date someone to forget and find new love, but your ex could still have not moved on and did not want to tell you because they do not want you to experience the heartbreak they went through.


Do not change who you are. You will find the right partner for you. My ex-boyfriend and I broke up because of number 5, the distance. Yes, we facetime, but later on, it felt like a job for him or as if he was dating his phone and could not handle it anymore. I first thought it was my fault for not giving the attention he needed, finding a way to meet with each other, and much more. I realize it wasn’t but the relationship itself that was affecting him because I was not physically there to be with him. If one of these happened to you, take your time healing and find a way to become happy again. 


A Letter to my Ex, Post-Breakup to do List, A Year After My Heartbreak