Her Campus Logo Her Campus Logo

The struggles I see in having a significant other (for girls my age)

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Sonoma chapter.

 

 So I’m 18 and never been in a “real relationship”.  Not something I’m embarrassed to admit.  I’ve had a lot of friends who have dated in high school and college, and I hear a lot about it, unfortunately, it’s mostly just the negatives.  Whenever my friends tell me about guys or girls that they are dating it’s always good stuff for a while, but then it all quickly turns to complaining every single day.  It starts with simple things like “they didn’t text me back”, and then it quickly escalates to getting in fights for no reason and more.  I’m one of those people that don’t enjoy confrontation, I will avoid it at all costs if I have to to a certain extent, but when I hear these girls talk to me about their boyfriends and the problems they’re having with them, it reminds me that I am in no place to be in a relationship.  A lot of girls forget their worth the moment they enter a new relationship, and I know that’s a shitty thing to say, but that’s what I believe is the truth.  I was hooking up with a guy for a few months and every single time he wanted to meet up, I pretty much threw my life and my plans out the window just to see him.  I quickly realized that wasn’t healthy or what I wanted, and I know it must be different when you are actually in a relationship with someone who cares about you, but I just got a rough start.  

In my opinion, girls my age are too uptight when it comes to relationships. They have a lot of expectations for their significant others, and most of the time they’re pretty ridiculous.  I understand having certain expectations about how to be treated by a guy, but a lot of girls have expectations about what they can and can’t do, and how often they talk or see each other, and other things like that.  Honestly, who are you to limit your significant other from doing anything?  I get that you guys are committed to each other in some way, but I’m not about to tell someone who I’m dating what they’re allowed to do and not allowed to do with their life, I’m pretty sure they already get that enough from their parents. It just seems ridiculous to me.  I had a friend in high school who wasn’t a huge fan drinking, and her boyfriend would drink a lot and she made him give up drinking for her.  He did for a while but then eventually he gave her up and went back to alcohol.  I understand people have morals, but I don’t think it’s okay to make someone choose between something like that.  Granted, it’s  obviously not the best thing for a high schooler to drink a lot, but it’s also not okay to force someone to be with you instead of doing something that’s a part of their lifestyle.  Obviously, some people want to make these kinds of sacrifices in order to be in relationships, but I don’t think I’ll be able to understand that until I find someone that I’d be willing to give up a lot for.

 

Related Articles:

Second year at SSU. Hobbies of mine include Photography, Writing, and Singing in the shower.
Contributor account for HC Sonoma