As children –or even perhaps adults- we are told some variation of the story of the goats who thought the grass was greener on the other side, only to find that it was not. The moral of the story, is that we must appreciate where we are as striving to go “to the other side” reaps little benefit, and in most versions of the story, ultimately leads to death. Interpret as you will, but to this day I have found this proverb problematic
This sort of logic perpetuates the status quo and devalues those whom advocate for change. How are we so sure that where we were born, where we currently live or what we currently do is where we will best be suited unless we break outside of these boundaries to experience the other side? How will we ever be able to see the perspective of another if we are too wrapped up in living a singular regimented life for fear of different perspectives and experiences?
For those still wondering: yes, the grass is greener on the other side. And to beat a banal cliché further, it is not that the grass will necessarily have a brighter hue, greater texture, or taste better to those all-too-familiar goats, but rather enlighten those who transgress to a new, opportune world; giving them the tools needed to grow through gained understanding of themselves and others.
While this change may come in many forms like joining a club outside of your own identity group, adopting a new hobby, or volunteering with an organization you’ve always been curious about, my own transformation took on the form of traveling 2,970 miles away to Stony Brook, New York in the National Student Exchange program offered through SSU’s International Services Program.
For myself –at the time an over-involved student, club president, CSA, multiple-job-holding, active family member, volunteering extraordinaire- it was just what I needed: an opportunity to step out of my over-achieving, career and school-driven self and let a new me emerge. While it would have been powerful to experiment with this new version of myself here at SSU, nothing amounts to the rejuvenating point of views garnered from new experiences. As my favorite philosopher Lao Tzu so perfectly puts it, “When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.” And so, it happened.
Learning Chinese customs from my roommate who was on exchange from China, cheering at Stony Brook’s football games with pride, soaking in the culture of various museums like the Museum of Modern Art and the Natural History Museum, socializing at exclusive nightlife venues like Manhattan’s “Upstairs” (a roof-top bar), eating new dishes from countries all over the world, dancing harder than ever in a Dancesport ballroom dancing competition, and living the magical holiday spirit of NYC from Thanksgiving to Christmas – all these memories molded me immeasurably into the inspired individual I currently enjoy. You see, I now enjoy a new outlook on life influenced by the many remarkable people I met in New York through these experiences, some of whom I know I will hold dear to my heart forever. Through them, I’ve realized that life is short and therefore it must be lived to the fullest.
We spend our lives trying to reach a certain end (most notably a certain career, location utopia or financial standing to define us as our ideal), and in doing this, it is all-too-easy to lose sight of ourselves as living beings whom are constantly defined by the actions we take in the everyday; living our lives whether we come to appreciate it or not. So stop holding yourself back: live your life now!
New York was the perfect venue to find myself, allowing me to just do what feels right and to seize any new experiences thrown my way. Ironically, when I told people that I was from California on exchange the first –and repeated- response I received was “Why did you come here? I’ve always wanted to go to California.” My answer was that I needed to see life on the other coast, simply to live the life of a New Yorker as how could I know where I belonged truly having only seen one side? So, as should be obvious by now, I do not advocate that New York is necessarily better than California, nor California better than New York.
However it was where I needed to go to thrust away all that was familiar and fully embrace myself and the unknown. I do urge that for anyone to live life to the fullest degree, they must risk stepping out of their comfort zone and venture to explore all their options for joy in life.
This means having the courage to step away sometimes from what may seem like the easiest or most correct path, and instead look completely to your desires. At the same time, putting effort towards learning new things, so that you may gain more knowledge of areas that you may have never otherwise known to be a secret joy. For that reason, I crossed the country to see the grass on the other side, and it was greener. Will I move to New York as result? I don’t know. The point is that New York tapped into a part of my self that I otherwise may have never known existed: a fearless woman with an insatiable appetite for all the wonders of each region in the world. What will stepping out of your comfort zone do for you?