For those of you looking for love, or already in it… here is some advice.
Don’t expect your relationship to be like someone else’sStop comparing your love life, or lack of love life, to those relationships that everyone hates to love. Your relationship is yours and theirs and no one else’s, stop trying to make it something that it isn’t. The success in your relationship, the failures, the challenges, the happiness are yours. No one is going to post a picture of their arguments on instagram… that does not mean that it doesn’t happen. Don’t compare someone’s high, to your low.
If you are looking for guys in the same place, you are going to end up with the same kind of guy…Try something new to meet someone new. If you keep looking for people at bars, and you are not fond of the results, try finding someone somewhere else. Albert Einstein said “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results” Be brave. Meet someone while doing something that makes you feel a little vulnerable, it might pay off.
They really should be a best friendYour person will see you at your worst and your best. Your person should be a best friend in the respect that they could grow to know you more than you know yourself. And you spend a lot of time with them. If you argue a lot, if they make you unhappy, sad, lonely, angry, try again.
Know what you are looking for, find it in a person and communicate your intentionsKnow what you find attractive, or allow yourself to be taken by surprise. Once you find the cutie, be clear with what you want! If you want the casual friday night hookup, communicate that. But don’t try to communicate too quickly, (telling someone on the first date that you want to be married within the year, is likely not the best idea). Be clear with your intentions and respect that the intentions might not be the same on both sides. But respect that they might not be as transparent. <3
There are going to be a lot of trial runs… try againEvery failed relationship is a lesson in what you don’t want, that is why it didn’t work. Take the appropriate time to heal and move on. Whether you are the dumped or the dumpee, there is a reason it did not work, so take a breath, make a tinder (if that is your thing) and go again.
Be PatientWhether you are starting to date and like someone a lot, or you are still looking, slow down. Take your time in trying to “figure it out” you don’t need to know everything right away, I think that it is fair to want to know, but don’t rush it. If the relationship feels right, you won’t feel the need to define it to everyone.
Be SelfishI don’t necessarily mean in everything, but if you aren’t happy. Leave. And find something that makes you happy. Care for yourself first, love yourself first and someone else’s love will follow
This is not foolproof, and I am not a relationship expert by any means, but i tried and failed a lot. I have found someone that makes me happy, and challenges me and forces me to try something new. Be brave and take risks. Have one of those summer flings, date someone that is bad for you. You never know what is going to work until it fails or succeeds. Love bravely. It will pay off one day