I’ve never been one to be proud of my body. It’s sad but true. All my life I’ve been ashamed and self-conscious about the body I have, and it hasn’t been the best experience. When I was 14 I weighed close to 160 pounds and I wasn’t sure how to change. I went to a private catholic school, and during lent season my theology teacher challenged us to give up one thing, and I chose potatoes. A few months later I had lost almost 30 pounds by just eating healthier. I was using my freshman P.E. class as my exercise and I finally started to see results. But I still wasn’t happy. I stayed between 130 and 150 throughout my Sophomore and Junior year but my Senior year was when I really made a big change. I naturally started to eat better and exercise more and I was starting to see results again. But I wasn’t necessarily doing it in the healthiest way. I wouldn’t eat as much as I needed and I forgot that food was fuel and something I actually needed.
At some point over the summer of 2016, I was between 140-145 pounds and I was finally really confident about my body, but I don’t think I was very healthy. I usually never get sick, and if I do it’s once every six months and it lasts 3 or 4 days. Between April and September of 2016, I got sick maybe 3 or 4 times. It wasn’t anything serious, I was just a lot more susceptible to sickness and feeling incredibly weak. This was the closest I ever was to being anorexic. I definitely would not have called myself anorexic at the time, but I was pretty damn close. My family members were commenting on how small I looked and how much weight I had lost. Even one of my friends who had been anorexic and bulimic in the past was worried about me, but I thought I was doing just fine. I didn’t see the warning signs in being sick all the time and having my family members seem slightly worried about me because I was finally happy with my body.
Since the summer I’ve gained almost 20 pounds and I’m learning to deal with it. I wanted to stay at the weight I was, but I knew it wasn’t healthy and it wouldn’t be good for me in the long run. I have since learned to accept my body for what it is, even though I don’t necessarily like it all the time. It breaks my heart when I see people in my life not love their bodies for what they are. I have learned that the most important thing you can be is strong. Not skinny, or perfectly curvy, or whatever else we will kill ourselves to be. It is important to be strong, and fit. My body was built a certain way and I can’t change that. I was built to have some extra skin on my bones and muscles in my arms, and a not so small waist…sorry society. I am happy, I am healthy, and that is all I care to be for now.
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http://www.hercampus.com/school/sonoma-state/how-help-your-resume-when-you-have-little-experience
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