Growing up in a religious family and attending a Catholic high school meant that when it came to sex, our only option was to not have it. The only kind of safe sex was abstinence– not condoms and birth control. Surprisingly, many of my friends accepted this and pledged to remain abstinent, including me. *note to present self– you are a much more independent thinker than younger you* Getting out of the Catholic school and into the real world opened my eyes to a whole new world of sex. The carefree influences from my college friends helped me tap into my sexuality and try new things. But as most new timers know, there were some pretty awkward moments (and still are) while getting the hang of things. Whether it’s your first time, or one-thousandth time… sex can still be awkward. Good news is, it doesn’t just happen to you– we all experience these moments.
Getting Undressed
Right from the start, the beginning of sex can be awkward. The first thing you need to do is get undressed, but sometimes this can be pretty tricky, or just plain uncomfortable. You might try to do a sexy strip tease and then before you know it your shirt is stuck on your earring and your effed. Shit! Or you might bump heads when he’s trying to slip your shirt off while simultaneously leaning in to kiss you as soon as it’s above your head. Best thing to do? Just rip your clothes off yourself and don’t waste anytime.
Switching Positions
So you’ve finally gotten your clothes off and things seem to be going pretty smoothly. Or so you thought! Until it’s time to switch positions. Sometimes these transitions aren’t as smooth as the ones you see in the movies. A leg gets caught here, an arm gets twisted there, and he just isn’t as seamless when he’s flipping you over while maintaining his own balance. The inner monologue of “omg what’s my nipple doing? Wait shit.” But that’s ok! Laugh about it and move on. No need to ditch the guy later because his transitions weren’t smooth. This may be the O-lympics, but it’s certainly not the Olympics.
Not Wet Enough
Now that you’ve gotten into a new position you just aren’t that into it anymore. Occasionally we women do not stay aroused (wet) for as long as the sex lasts. That’s where lube comes in! Don’t be embarrassed. Grab the lube and be generous with it. You will both be thankful for the silky, slipperiness that it provides, which can be a huge turn on. Sex should be messy!
Hot, Steamy, Slippery, Dangerous Shower Sex
Still not yet enough? Slip into the shower (no pun intended). Shower sex— another thing movies ruin for us. No matter how hard we try, water blasting you in the face while you’re trying to get it on is not really all that sexy. But how do they make shower sex look so steamy? LOTS and LOTS of repeated takes. We all know that you never just do a scene in a movie once…and sex is no exception. Use the ledge of the bath for leverage or grab the shower handle for balance and you should be able to maintain some type of romance. Use each experience as a lesson for the next and after time you’ll be a movie star in the shower.
“What’s that noise?”
As if things couldn’t get any worse? Bodily sounds are nothing you can avoid while getting it on. If a weird moan slips out or your boobs suction on top of him or heaven forbid you queef, don’t let these distract you from the end g-O-al. Chances are he’s too ‘in the moment’ to notice.
“I’m gonna…I’m gonna…ughhh”
Remember that time he came on your chest, your stomach, your back, and even your face? It seems that guys love doing this but can’t always explain why. If you’re into it tell him where you like it and have fun with it. And if you’re not a fan of getting sticky let him know ahead of time so you don’t get surprised with a face-full. Let’s face it…not even pineapple cum can make that enjoyable.
Let Us Not Forget The Beloved O Face
Own is sister! You deserve it so don’t hold back. Scream, screech, tremble, and shake. Be the woman you whole heartedly are and the face you make will be the last thing on his mind! Confidence is sexy!