Dear Confused College Student,
Two years ago, I was in your shoes. I had just picked up my life and moved to a new state for the ultimate college experience. I was excited and nervous, but mostly happy that I was going to attend my dream college. Who wouldn’t be? But after three long months, I realized that I hadn’t made the right decision for me and that I would be transferring at the end of the semester.
If you are like me and are transferring away from a college you envisioned yourself spending four years at, you’re going to be distraught and sad. This is why the first step in all of this is to talk to your parents. Your parents may be confused and upset too, but remind them that college is for education and growth. If you can’t grow at the college you’re at, it’s silly to spend the money on such an expensive and valuable experience.
The hardest part for me was my friends. They’re going to judge your experience, whether that looks like rolling their eyes, telling you that you weren’t involved enough or telling you “I told you so.” Hopefully, they support your decision, but unfortunately some will come up with ideas of their own as to why you are leaving. “She’s leaving for a boy.” “She’s just really homesick.” “The campus is too big for her.” In my case, some of these people still have these ideas two years later, but I promise, the grass is greener on the other side and it won’t matter what a few people’s opinions are on your decision.
The truth behind my decision to transfer is that I wasn’t happy. I thought I wanted a certain college experience that didn’t appeal to me once I had gotten to college. I was looking for something more rigorous, a smaller student body and missed the feeling of being near a big city. These are the things that ultimately encouraged me to make such a life altering decision. Remember that sometimes you make a decision and it doesn’t live up to what you dreamed it would be, and that’s okay.
Now that I’m on the other side of such a stressful transition, I can tell you that this path led me to exactly where it was supposed to. I’m in an environment where I thrive both academically and socially and I’m thankful for the opportunities that have come my way. I won’t deny that there are times that I question my decision and envy those who went to my previous school and who absolutely love it. That’s normal. However, it’s also normal that everyone doesn’t want the same college experience. It’s important to accept that it wasn’t your previous school’s fault and it’s not necessarily yours either. This means that insulting your friends that still go there or the school itself isn’t fair. You should value the experience and self-exploration that it gave you.
No matter where you’re at on the spectrum of transferring, big things are about to happen. Your courage will outshine the lows and you’ll be ever-so-grateful for the highs. Congrats and good luck!
Love,
A Happy Transfer Student