Preface: Not every experience is the same for all people. Never be pressured to do or try anything that makes you uncomfortable. There is never a wrong time to say no or cut the situation off. The best advice is to always be smart, safe and know your limits.
It’s 11 p.m. on a Friday night. Whether you’re partying in the dorm or sandwiched by a crowd of people at a frat pre-game, it’s time to hit the club with your crew of mildly inebriated friends. The makeup is on point, the alcohol bloat has not set in and you’re on top of the world – also the Uber just showed up so hurry up and get outside.
Step 1: Arrival
Time in the line is an important part of scouting some possible hookup material. Remember, failing to prepare is preparing to fail. Avoid the overly drunk, the guy wearing socks with sandals and anyone who runs too close to your friend group. That last one is important to avoid drama and hurt feelings. Also, if they already have a girlfriend, respect the code and back off.
Step 2: The Partner
So you made it inside with little worry, and you are now trying to catch a few wandering eyes. I’ll be frank, most club hookups can be a little awkward at first. The most important thing is to find someone who is after the same thing you are. If it’s a casual fling that’s fine, but avoid drama early by setting your boundaries. A couple of tricks for a first impression:
The “accidental” bump
Follow it up with an apology and a comment on how these parties need some crowd control and slide in there. Try not to be too obvious, otherwise, you look like a crazy drunk person.
The “Aren’t you in my…”
If you like fake conversation, this one’s for you. Ask if they want to dance once the conversation gets dry.
Wingman/Wingwoman
For those shy folks who might need to phone a friend or are having an internal freak-out.
Dance it Out
For those of you who prefer to let your hips do the talking. Also great for figuring out if the guy is a sleaze or not.
Step 3: To Leave or Not to Leave?
The night has been going well so far. There’s been some talking, some dancing, maybe even some gag-inducing dance floor make-out sessions (it happens to the best of us). Your friends are aware of the situation and know that you are having a fun, safe time. This is the part of the night that is the hardest. NEVER feel like you owe anyone anything. These kinds of things take two people to work, and if your partner can’t respect your space or boundaries, then it’s time to break some hearts.
However, if you’re lucky enough to meet the right combo of cute, respectful and down to pay for the Uber, then go ahead and get after it. Just remember: how far you go is up to you and it’s also important to respect the boundaries of your partner.
P.S: if both of you are under-prepared, the laundry room of every commons has what you need.
Step 4: The Morning After…
I’ve talked to a lot of ladies for their opinions and personal experiences, and survey says that if you own it, it’s not a mistake. Having regrets about the night is a part of the whole experience, but luckily you’re not obligated to ever talk to them again. On the plus side, your group has a new inside joke. In any case, you never know what you’re going to find in the sweaty masses of SMU parties, so get out there and own it.