Picking a roommate at the beginning of Freshman year is sort of like speed dating. You meet her on Facebook, or possibly in person for a couple of hours and then BOOM! you decide to live together for a whole year. Trouble is, you are so desperate to have this girl like you and be your #roomielove forever that you two don’t always say things that are necessary for peaceful cohabitation. And somehow, after months of living together, you find yourself starting every conversation with “you would not BELIEVE what my roommate did” and ending them with “I swear I am going to kill her.”
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How do you avoid getting to that point? How do you find that person who is just right for you to room with, day in and day out? We have the advice for you, so sit down, get your pro and cons lists out, and go through the contacts on your phone to find your perfect #roomielove.
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1. Make sure y’all have the same sleeping schedule.
I cannot emphasize this enough. It doesn’t matter if you love her like a sister, if you will be asleep at wildly different times, the room will not be a happy place. You want to try to make it so that you aren’t having to sneak around with your phone flashlight, trying to get ready for class or for bed. If you are a night owl, try to live with someone else who likes to be up late. If you are an early bird, flock together with your kind! Find a girl who sleeps around the same time as you do. Then you will never be woken up at 5:30 in the morning while she gets ready for hot yoga, and she will never have to plot how she is going to hide your body when you come back at 3 a.m. from partying.
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2. Split it Up
You need to love your roommate for sure, but you also will definitely need some separation. If you are with one person all the time, things will start to get heated. You two can be close, but you also need to have your own thing. You’ll both need some alone time, and you’ll also need your own friends. If tensions are running high because she borrowed your favorite skirt without asking or you used her last coffee mug and didn’t wash it, you won’t want to be running to the same friend group to complain. You want your time in the room to be happy, so you should be friends. But you also want to make sure that you don’t get tired of each other.
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3. Up and Down
You need your roomie to be someone with whom you can be both Up- wild and partying and fun- and and also Down- studying and sleeping and chilling. This is why it can be dangerous to live with your bestie. If you two are always going to be chatting and having fun, it might prove good for your social happiness but not for your school happiness. You need to have both. School does not go away just because you two want to compare your favorite episodes of “Gossip Girl” all night. You also want to be able to have fun together. Balance is not just healthy here, it is also necessary.
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4. Messiness Levels
Y’all need the same level of messiness. You don’t need to abandon all your room habits from home, just find someone who matches yours. If you love a place for everything and everything in its place, then find a girl who is also organized. If you are content in your own squalor, grab your girlfriend who also tends to throw her clothes on the floor. You both can hold each other to a better standard of cleanliness, but you need to be okay with your lowest points. The clean freak cannot live with the pig. All you will do is whine about each other, and the room will just not be a fun place.
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5. Consider a Single
Here at SMU, we are very lucky that we have the option to have a single. In dorms like MoMac or Martin, you can live by yourself. This is a little more expensive, but for some people, it is necessary. Not everyone was meant to have a roommate. If you have always needed your alone time and have a hard time with others, maybe you just need to live alone. This doesn’t mean that you aren’t social or that you’ll be lonely, it’s just sometimes how it has to be. If you don’t know how to share, DON’T SHARE A ROOM!
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6. The Romance Clause
You’ll both want to be very very clear with each other about your policy of bringing hookups or significant others back to the room. If one of you is going to have your partner over all the time, be up front about it. Don’t just bring your boyfriend over to crash. And if you know that will be an issue, let her know, before she decides to kill you when she wakes up and your partner is over too. Before you move in together, have a straightforward plan of what guests are allowed and when- this includes your buds and family- so that you aren’t stepping on each others’ toes all the time.
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7. Have the Same Shoe Size…Or Something
Sharing is caring, and having a roomie doubles your closet. If your girlfriend has the same size shoe or dress or the same taste in jewelry, this can be a great benefit to your wardrobe. Think about the desperate process of getting ready- and then think about your roommate saying the magic words “you can borrow my pants.” If you love to share, then go for this. Obviously it should not be the first factor, but if you are on the last legs of the decision, then consider the shoes. Remember to ask first, and no stealing anything expensive if you don’t intend to wash it for her.
The most important thing to do when you are picking a roommate is to talk to her. Do not speed date your roomie. Treat getting to know her like getting into a long term relationship. You want your room to be a safe haven, and to do that you need to choose a roomie you can vibe with. Respect each other, listen to each other, and don’t be afraid to talk it out. Find out as much as you can before you tie the roommate knot. You’ve got to know each other before you can find that #roomielove.