Ahh time to move out…aka the time to discover so many treasures you’ve accumulated over the year. Surely everyone’s got a few of these lying around:
1. A water bottle with maybe 30 percent of the water still in it. Okay, several water bottles with varying amounts of water left in each one. You felt bad throwing it out when you still had a little water left in it and you told yourself you’d finish it later. You didn’t.
2. Someone else’s t-shirt. If it has been in your room for longer than four weeks they probably forgot it went missing. It’s yours now.
3. Random free t-shirts from commons events. The idea of another t-shirt sounded great until you realized you had to pack everything up at the end of the year.
4. A Luke-warm alcohol stash. You didn’t want to throw any alcohol away because that would be wasteful, but that six-pack of beer has been sitting under your bed for weeks now and there is no way it tastes good anymore.
5. Paper wristbands from parties/clubs. You started a collection because you thought it would be fun to look back on all of the parties you went to that year. Now you’re looking at a stack of paper shreds and thinking, “ I don’t think there’s a Pinterest craft I can make to preserve these.”
6. A costume collection to rival that of a community theater company. Theme parties and Halloween made that Hawaiian shirt, those cat ears, a basketball jersey, and everything else seem like an absolute necessity. Now you’re thinking, “Will I ever wear a men’s XL risky-business-esque shirt again?” Probably not.
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7. Care package goodies. Care packages are the best and nothing makes us more excited than presents. Period. But there are always fun present toppers from the dollar section of target that you don’t really know what to do with at the end of the year.
8. A souvenir mug from that time you went to NOLA. You thought it would be a great conversation starter to drink out of an alien-shaped plastic cup at the next darty you went to. It was not. It was just weird.
9. A small (over-the-counter) drug empire. You finished the year with a stockpile of DayQuil, NighQuil, Advil, Tylenol… basically anything you needed to survive the Peruna Plague.
10. Crafts from sorority big little. Yes, your big loves you very much and you know that. During big little week, all of the crafts were so exciting, but now you’re thinking… did I really need 18 hand-painted picture frames? (Sorry for the 18 hand-painted picture frames little, there was a deal at Michaels.)
11. Random Clorox wipes and Lysol from the first week of school when you thought you’d be proactive at keeping your room clean. Lol.
12. Party items your klepto-drunk alter ego stole. You woke up with a hat, bamboo stick, darty accessory… you name it. You don’t know why you thought it would be a good idea to collect this random junk off the floor, but now you have it. Yay?
13. A notebook with maybe five pages of notes from before you realized you could spend the class time on BuzzFeed and still pass.
14. A dead cactus. You thought you could keep a succulent alive until you realized your dorm had no direct sunlight and regularly watering a plant was more commitment than you were ready for.
15. Stale snacks. The half-eaten bag of chips you opened back in January doesn’t taste nearly as good anymore.
16. You have at least 45 class handouts and club fliers shoved in a desk drawer. Count ‘em.
17. Something vaguely sentimental that you feel bad throwing out. Looking at you flowers that I got from various sorority functions.
18. Organization cups and koozies. That Mustang Storage cup felt like a great idea at the time, but now you have like 14 plastic cups. Should you keep them? Would they round out your new apartment dining set? Make good beer pong cups? Who knows?
19. Whataburger numbers. If you didn’t steal at least one of these, do you even go to school in Texas?
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