Recently, there have been numerous articles about our “hook-up” culture and its impact on dating. There is no doubt that dating is nothing like it used to be and the thought of having a significant other can seem completely foreign. Sometimes casual relationships can get confusing and result in questions that are rarely verbalized, so everyone is left wondering, “Where do we stand?”
When a hook-up becomes a regular occurrence, of course you’re going to wonder where you’re headed, and what the other person is thinking. So, why is it so hard to ask your partner what the deal is? This “hook-up” culture we live in has lead to a fear of seeming clingy or jealous so neither person wants to be the first to take the next step. As long as we’ve settled on the fact that we don’t want to be first to ask what in the world is actually going on, we should figure out how to read the signs. Then, when the time is right, figure out where we actually stand. Below are three common situations that can help declassify a relationship. Which category do you fit into?
You only hang out at night, at parties, or during opportune times for hooking up: In general this is a sign that the relationship is going to remain in the “hook-up zone.” By deciding that these are the best times to hang out, it seems clear that you only plan on seeing each other to hook up. This is fine if it’s what you’re looking for, but if not, it doesn’t seem like the relationship will go much further.
You hang out at night, at parties, etc., but have also hung out alone during the day: This situation varies for every relationship, but if you are hanging out more than just during those “opportune hook-up times” then maybe this relationship is promising. Here, you’ll have to be the judge. If you see each other during the day, but are still just hooking up then it’s not much different than hanging out at night. But, if you go get coffee together or get together to watch the big game then maybe your feelings go beyond the sex. If you two continue to hang out one on one, it is worth asking where you stand in the relationship because who knows where you could be heading.You hang out at night, at parties, during the day, and have even chilled with your partner’s friends: Go for it, take the initiative, and ask where you two stand. There is no reason not to think this is heading toward a more serious relationship and if your partner thinks otherwise, the only way to find out is to ask. At this point, the two of you need to be on the same page and the situation will only become stressful if you both remain silent. No one ever wants to risk taking the relationship one step further, but it needs to happen so that everyone stays sane. Asking yourself, your friends, and your family where they think your relationship stands is not going to get you the real answer, so ask your partner and hope for the best!