I was 16 years old getting ready for soccer practice when I heard, “Ugh, Victoria is SUCH a feminist” from one of my closest friends.
Fast forward to the summer of my sophomore year of college.
I was sitting in the car with my boyfriend when we began discussing the daunting topic of politics.
Our conversation went a little like this: “Are you really a feminist?” he asked me. “I have a friend back home who is a true feminist and goes to all those protests and stuff. I don’t really think you understand what being a feminist entails.”
I blankly stared at him. I attempted to defend myself. Then became utterly lost on why I was arguing that I am worthy of the label ‘feminist.’
At this time in my life I was struggling to figure out my views and understanding of what being a woman in 2018 truly meant. All I knew was that his tone was negative and condescending. He made me feel incredibly small and confused about a label I believed every American naturally would and should have. To me being a feminist always meant believing that I was at the very least, equal to my male peers.
Needless to say — that relationship ended quickly.
And I can’t thank him enough for sparking the fire I had in me.
Now fast forward to the day after Halloween this year (2019).
“Why are you SUCH a feminist?” asked my sister over the phone after I jokingly explained to her that I wrote, “Your opinion was not in my recipe” across my chef hat the night of Halloween.
It was one of the many comments made by my former boyfriend and many other men (and women) in my life that labeled feminism as equivalent to an overly aggressive and unreasonable activist.
Sociologist, Professor of Law, and Activist, Catherine A. MacKinnon theorizes that men and women are different, but should have the same access to power and opportunity. This, she says, is the gateway towards equality. She recognizes that if we label men and women as the same then we must hold them to the same standard, however the ‘standard’ is based on males. Mackinnon writes: “there is a politics to this. Concealed is the substantive way in which man has become the measure of all things.”
I think we can all agree that women and men’s bodies are different. It is a known and recognized fact of biology that women give birth and men do not. So, the feminist theory asserts that we need to recongize and honors their differencies elsewhere as well.
On Nov. 7, The NewYork Times published an opinion piece written by Lindsay Crouse, telling the story of competitive athlete Mary Caine, once described as the “fastest girl in America.” But Caine reveals her disturbing and detrimental experiences at a training center endorsed by Nike and led by all men training coaches. Crouse argues that by being forced to meet the athletic standard of males, we are assuming that female athletes will develop in the same way as male athletes. But, by trying to force a girl to develop in the same way and timeline as a boy, her body can be destroyed, just like Cain’s body.
I believe that each gender deserves equal opportunity. I believe that men absolutely should not be the standard. That difference does not mean they should be held to different standards or that for absolutely any reason should be paid less. What does that mean? That every man and every woman should have EQUAL access to opportunity. It is time to recognize our differences and begin to treat each other with EQUAL respect.
This begins with our education and job policies and takes the power of a culture shift.
I think every single woman who attended middle school up to college can relate to the classic and horrific school dress code. For my best friend, it was a college education class: “My freshmen year I was pulled out of class because when I raised my hand, my mid drift was showing and that was distracting to the male students. The professor said to me, “there are students in that class actually trying to become teachers.” As a HUMAN doesn’t that infuriate you? That your best friend, sister, wife, daughter, colleague would lose time to learn because we constantly bow down to the males ‘needs’ in society?
It’s not the anger that I feel from experiences like these that keep me advocating for feminism. Rather it’s the pride I feel being surrounded by genuine, intelligent, kind, and hard-working women that make me say, “I am SUCH a feminist.”
To the human-being who believes that women should have equal access and opportunity in this world, respond with advocacy and pride towards the degrading comments. Be bigger than the people who try to make you small. And most importantly, be a feminist.
The next generation needs your help to ripple change throughout this country and this world.