Understanding Growth: 5 Things That Helped Me Grow into Who I am Today

Becoming the best version of yourself is much easier said than done, and there is no right way to do it. As pretty as pinterest makes it look, it’s not like that, at least not for me. It’s becoming who you are, of course, but I find it is also a lot of discovering what you are not. Growth is a lot of self reflection, good and bad. I am no expert on growth, nor do I feel like I have grown into the best person I will be. That being said, I have grown and developed into a much stronger version of myself in the last two years. I have become confident in who I am, in what I want to do and the ideas I have. But that doesn’t mean it was all sunshine. In fact, a lot of it wasn’t. A lot of it was tough love, and catching myself on my biases, my bad tendencies, and things that pushed me away from who I wanted to be. Here are five ways that helped me grow into who I am today. 


  1. Be your own #1 Fan 


This is so important, because while we hope the people we have will be there forever, they won’t. People come and go, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t pursue everything like you have your own mini fan section. Root for yourself, go to everything you walk into with a foam finger. Be proud of everything you do, and don’t let anyone take away from all of the work you are doing. 


  1. Respect yourself


Do what you want, and love what you do. Feel confident in your choices, and know what is okay with you and what isn’t. Know when people are taking advantage of you, and say no to things that don’t put you where you want to be. Know where your morals are, know where your goals are, and don’t let people push you away from them. Understand that your mental health, your values, and your work is just as valuable as anyone else's, and don’t let people make you feel otherwise. 


  1. Push yourself to do more


Nothing incredible ever comes from staying in your comfort zone. Push yourself to do things that you wouldn’t normally do. Talk to someone you don’t know. Apply for that job. Volunteer by yourself. Nobody can say yes, if you don’t ever ask - but the worst thing that can happen is that they say no. Even if they do say no, that opportunity wouldn’t have been there if you didn’t ask in the first place. Some of the best things that have ever happened to me, started with me being rejected. Doing these things lets you meet new people - and who doesn’t love that? If you are rejected, that’s okay, because you’ve gained experience, pushed yourself, and now you’re in their mind if any new opportunities come up. 


  1. Self Reflection 


This is so important, but much harder said than done. It takes a lot of self love but also a lot of tough love. This is where you take a moment to recognize your toxic traits, take a look at your behavior, and think about if what you are doing is pushing you to be the person you want to be. While it looks to the future, I also found it took a lot of looking into the past, your past relationships, how you handled passed relationships,  and what I want to do differently in the future. During this, I find it important to remember the person who I want to be, but also remember what I love about myself now. 


  1. Cleanse yourself


Similar to self reflection, get rid of things that don’t make you feel good or put you where you want to be. Get rid of negative thinking, your inner critic, your bias, unhealthy behaviors, people who hold you back. This may be difficult, but getting rid of things that make you feel bad about yourself, makes it so much easier to love yourself and be the best version of yourself. While some of this may be external, so much of it is internal. Get rid of the way you think poorly about yourself. Change your bad habits. By cleaning yourself from all of these negative things, it leaves so much space for positive thinking, and space for your new self to really flourish.